


Cough Syrup When You’re Not Sick

by NEONVORE (orphan_account)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Binge Drinking, Comfort Food, Eating Disorders, F/F, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Sick Steven (first few chapters), Sickfic, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vomit (not graphic)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-01-23 16:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21323188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/NEONVORE
Summary: She stayed at his side, replacing the lost days of silence with small chatter and a sick Steven at her palms.What was the worst that could happen?(Abandoned)
Relationships: Amethyst & Spinel (Steven Universe), Pearl & Spinel (Steven Universe), Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Spinel & Steven Universe, Steven Universe & Everyone
Comments: 32
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my phone so I’m suppppper sorry for any issues! And yes this will get worse. For spinel and Steven

Spinel was in no means, Steven’s best friend. Perhaps an acquaintance , or even just an ‘old friend. Despite her murderous tactics in coping, she was never referred to as so. Perhaps a troubled gem, as most of the gems that littered the small city were. She wasn’t any different.

Yet, he still offered her to come over. Frequent calls and check ins, perhaps to send over a treat he’d just made with Pearl, or a cute story or doodle he thought she’d like. Or perhaps a small, stuffed cat — it’s nose a neon heart, with the simplest dot eyes and curved smile. To say in the least, Steven thought about Spinel; a lot. So why was she to assume she wasn’t his friend?

She never directly asked about it, or even spoke about it. It was too small, to little and meaningless to even the smallest pebbles of the universe. Because friends care about you, and think about you - she had to be more then just some pink gem he knew then, right? Or perhaps she didn’t consider her a friend. Maybe she didn’t consider anyone friends, and for that she suffered in lonesome silenced and sobbed to herself in hopes to feel something that wasn’t vengeance again.

But if Steven isn’t a friend, then why did missed call — one day, with no communication, make her stressed?

And then that day, sided off as forgetfulness, became two. Then three. To which he just had to be busy! Then it was 5. Then a week, and Spinel had just about reached her limit! 

She was quick on her feet, squeaky boots showing her expressive stress and worry as she exclaimed to her Diamonds, her family — that Steven wasn’t talking to her. Well, rambling on about being ignored or forgotten, it was overall the same thing!

Blue cooed and wiped a giant finger across her face with the most delicate-ness a giantess could give, reassuring her otherwise.

Yellow stayed close for comfort, not best at words, but knowing the gentle caresses against her soft tufts of hair was always just as good as Blue’s soft spoken voice.

Yet White, she pouted.

She hadn’t moved from her spot, displaying her brightness for all. But still, only pouted. It seemed, as Yellow, she had nothing to contribute. But instead of a soft touch or gentle words, she sighed.

”Starlight, Steven is.. Like that.”

She said, instead. Tone bitter yet drenched in artificial sweetener that showed she tried so hard to understand her grandson’s ways. Yet, couldn’t get behind it. 

“He is often busy on Earth. Keeping his plant in top shape. Sometimes, as he does to us — he gets distracted.” At this moment, White stepped down from his stature and kneeled; closer to meet Blue and Yellow’s position. “In no ways has he forgotten us—“ ”Stars no!” Yellow would soon exclaim, twirling a pink tail around softly.

”He just is.. Occupied. He cares for many, many humans.”

Blue scooped the small pink gem in her hands, and brought her close to her chest, just under her own bright and glistening gem. “And many gems. Steven could never forget a treasure as you.”

And Spinel believed them. Until it lasted a few more days longer, with her face hot and hands in fists — she found her heavy stance on a warp pad to Earth. The light shone within the palace’s hall, and carried on once she reached Mr. Too-Good-For-Spinel’s beach house. Once she arrived, she was absolutely ready to cause destruction. Because what could he be doing, that was SO important to ignore her?

”He’s sick.” Pearl would say gently, her own worried expression darkening the normal bright departure of the home.

Spinel felt her fuming anger side with confusion. Her spiked ponytails would soften, hands resting at her sides as she frowned. Sick?

Pearl, whilst worried; seemed eager to explain.

It was typically with humans, and whilst gems could somewhat feel similar issues via their light-fueled bodies, it was more-so harder for humans. A ‘bug’, Pearl called it. Having worked too hard even while sick prolonged his symptoms, and when she explained his stubbornness, she would show Spinel the sick hybrid.

He looked pathetic. Pale, and snoring heavily. Soft bags under his eyes, and lips dry. It made Spinel want to tug at her hair. Had she really been so selfish? To be fueled with such anger, only to see that his prolonged absence was nothing more then out of his control? In fact, he was suffering. Despite Pearl’s reassurance, Spinel insisted she’d stay. Even if she felt out of place and utterly un-welcomed on Earth, it was the least she could do.

Watching after a sick human wasn’t the hardest thing, after all. It was better then her throwing another tantrum. Right?

She stayed glued to his side. And while he was usually in bed, or sometimes on the couch and drinking an odd liquid — was it soup? Or broth. They looked identical, what was the difference?

Steven was shocked to say in the least. All sniffles and groans, but still so polite and eager to see her.

He explained more about it, in a way she could understand. And Spinel, somewhat understood. And while he did in fact tell her he’d be back up before she knew it, Spinel yet again insisted.

Steven has lacked on more then a week worth of conversing! A weak and more of stress and pure dread. But perhaps, she still needed to work on that.. 

She stayed at his side, replacing the lost days of silence with small chatter and a sick Steven at her palms.

What was the worst that could happen?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i was half asleep so sorry for the mess-ups!

"Spinel!"

A voice called, causing the darkened-pink gem to stir from her spot and perk upwards. She blinked once, then twice - taking glances at the small, yet still large and confusing house. She was settled closely to Steven, the 'sick' human cuddled closely in-between Spinel, and alongside with Amethyst. Of all the gems to be unsure and wary of her presence, it was the small violet gem. She had stayed close to Steven upon her entrance, eyes narrowed as she basically watched her every-mood. Surely it made her feel upset, but who were they to blame? It wasn't a small situation, trying to destroy an entire planet and race out of pure spite and heart-ache wasn't exactly.. Normal, per-say. So, when Amethyst began to back off; her wary glances and harsh glares growing more so into an observing kind of expression, it took the heart-cut gem bu surprised once the soldier sat aside her. Well, aside Steven - but that was still closer then she'd ever expected.

"Ahm.. Spinel?" The voice tried again, only stirring further to which she hopped up fast and nearly fell down the staircase. 

Pearl - Pink's Pearl, was in the kitchen. She had her brows furrowed with confusion and slide nervousness, but easily began to settle as she took sight of Spinel. Amethyst remained aside Steven, eyes shutting then reopening as she would fight against the heaviness of sleep and warmth from Steven's ill-riddled body.

Clearing her throat, Pearl motioned for her to step within the kitchen as she began opening cabinets and drawers; seemingly fixated on finding.. Something.

"Garnet is off helping Little Home-World with the others, and Amethyst is.. Well." She cleared her throat, giving a small wave of her hand to the small gem, before looking back down. "And goodness.. Whilst I'd usually give Greg a call by now, I just can't help but.. Well, want him to ease up! He has been stressed and, surely seeing Steven like.." Her voice lumped together, and her voice was swirling in Spinel's head. She really wished she did listen in the long-run, as before she knew it a thick bottle was shoved into her gloved hands, emitting a high 'squeak' noise.

"I am fully aware that you are not the most understanding of humans, as most gems are not but!" Pearl nervously laughed, and pulled at the cyan collar of her jacket. A light blush tinted her cheek, more grey-ish then anything. "I have a.. Specific date, to attend. And as much as I know Steven is growing to be a young adult, I need someone.. Er. Someone, at least somewhat, aware of the maturity of this situation." She motioned to the heavy bottle, letting Spinel's gaze drift to the thick and heavy containment of it. It was a deep, nearly black, purple - the liquid heavy and thick to where it would stick just slightly to the inner-walls of the plastic. "I would put Bismuth, or possibly Lapis and Peridot in such situation. Though.." She sighed, a hand running through her thin and feathered hair. "I fear they wouldn't understand the seriousness of a human being so.. Weak."

Weak. Spinel thought, hands tightening their grasp upon the bottle. Was she implying something?

"So! That is where you come in, Spinel. You understand the remorse of this situation. And I think, with Amethyst at your side - it would be fine. It is simple, really!" Pearl beamed, kneeling just barely to meet Spinel's own height. 

Of all the gems, Pearl seemed to be the most open-minded. To her, at least. In fact, Pearl acted as if nothing happened. As if Spinel was the same old gem those 6000 years ago. Maybe in her eyes she was, just a little off. A little sad, a little lost; but weren't they all?

"When Steven wakes up, I need you to give him this exact measurement of medicine. This helps humans heal faster, and eases them. Not too little, or too much -" Handing over a small measuring cup, Spinel squinted and observed the small lines and numbers on it; humming quietly to herself. Help, and ease them? Now that just seemed too easy. There had to be more to it, right?

Without a word, Pearl stood up and clasped her hands together happily, the discolored blush on her face only darkening. 

"Fantastic! Make sure he takes it at least twice - Steven still despises Cough Syrup, so getting one go would be more achievable then more!" Pearl smiled, and began to delicately walk through the kitchen, hands that were once clasped together now gently resting at her sides. "I will only be gone til night, so it shouldn't be too long. If there are any issues, have Amethyst - or if Garnet returns earlier then typical, give me a call. I will be here asap if there are problems!"

With a gleeful 'thank you', and awkward smile - Pearl was soon off. 

Spinel gave the medicine another glance, then another shake. Watching the thick liquid swirl was hypnotizing, and the mere fact that it.. What was it? Cure? It was nuts. How could something so small, so dark and meaningless have such an amazing impact?

It made her form churn, and grow.. Almost anxious. 

Would the liquid help Steven? Or was it all a lie. Would it hurt him more then he is now, would it fix his pale skin and heavy breathing in the snap of a finger? Spinel could only hope, causing her to hastily dart back upstairs with the bottle in tow. At each step, she would allow the thick liquid to shake within the bottle, for the mere fascination of watching it swirl over and over and.. Amethyst was still plastered at the hybrid's side, eyes now fully shut as her chest gently raised and lowered in time with Steven's own shaken and heavy breathes. It almost made Spinel tear up. Was this even normal for humans? The dizziness, the cold and the nausea.. It was all just so strange. Human kind, was just so strange.

Was this what Pink left her for? Diseased creatures, so weak and brittle that something as small as a 'cold' could end their short lives?

Sighing, she plopped back onto the bed and let the bottle rest in her hands, fumbling with the funnily rimmed cap with confusion and more questions then she could even imagine. 

"Whaz' that.." Amethyst grumbled, clearing her throat as she raised a sleepy hand and rubbed her eyes. Her hair was askew, and despite Pearl's rants and raves for this 'bug' being contagious, she looked fine. Was it a human thing, then?

Spinel looked at her, then to her lap - then back again. 

"..Uhm. Ju - Juice." She sputtered, brows furrowed as she tightened her grasp on the plastic bottle. Amethyst looked confused, yet intrigued. Wasting no time to reach for it, she easily uncapped it as she got ready to chug. But the smallest wuff she got from it had her grimacing, brows furrowed as she growled and gurgled out complaints and huffs.

She shook it around, before snickering and raising a brow at Spinel. "Juice, huh. " She murmured, shrugging as she took a long swig. Spinel's senses were instantly flooded with sweet scents yet.. Bitter. With one last slurp, she offered it back to Spinel and cackled, causing Steven to stir. She didn't look too distraught, though. "This is between us, kay'? If Pearl asks where most of it went, tell her Ame' snuck it into Steve' easily." She winked and leaned back with a tired sigh, leg resting over her other. Spinel felt lost, but gave a nervous nod. She doubted she would remember this strange encounter, anyways. Or even have the courage to call her out. But the conflicted thoughts stopped upon her main question - did it help gems, too?

"What is.. It, anyways." Spinel asked, looking at the now half bottle of 'juice.'

Amethyst hummed idly, before tilting to meet Spinel's eyes better. For once, it was full of ponder and enjoyment. Not dread, or anger; something so unfamiliar, yet it still didn't seem positive..

"It makes you feel good. Less icky, less grouchy - less _cough cough_ and tired, ya' know? Human stuff." She grinned, and turned away. 

Eyes wandering down, she nodded and thought in silence.

"You want some?" 

Spinel was dragged out of her thoughts, and she pouted in hesitation to even speak "..But, isn't it Steven's? O - Or, was.. I mean." She tried to reason, but sighed heavily. She didn't even know what _it_ was, how could she know if she wanted to draw some of this mysterious poison?

Amethyst shrugged and leaned over Steven, whom was now cuddling into her side with heavy breaths. She took the cap off once more, pushing on the sides in such an odd way that proved it was 'locked' for some reason. And with that, Amethyst gave a thumbs up

"Bottoms up, Spin'." Amethyst hums, and let Spinel slowly and anxiously tipped the bottle against her lips. 

The taste was candy like. Sweet, and overwhelming. Yet, as soon as it went down her throat the sweetness turn into bitterness and a strange warm sensation inside her light-form. It was nothing she ever felt. And with it, she waited to feel better. To feel warm, less heavy and tired. But nothing changed. Did she need more? 

"How is it? Personally I like alcohol-free meds' but, eh." Amethyst shrugged and snickered, giving Spinel a pat on the arm as she returned to her seat more properly. It left Spinel alone in her thoughts, as she let the warmth take over. "Don't drink it all - at least leave some for the actual sick-o here." She snorts, and goes back to crossing her legs with a heavy inhale. 

There were about two glasses left of the medicine, and she wanted nothing more to down the rest. Because was she doing it wrong? Why wasn't fixing _her?_

"We should prob' wake him up to take some. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it is to not breathe." She grinned, winking as she hopped up from her spot with a grunt. "Maybe we can get some soup in him, too. Food is good for the soul, and lemme' say - I make some bomb soup." She cackles again and gives Spinel a pat on her spiked shoulder, and hops down-stairs. "Wake em'! I'll get some stuff for us to munch on" Spinel never really ate, but.. An offer was an offer. It couldn't hurt? Even if she didn't really know how to eat. Not that well, at least. Eating just left it inside her, with no organs like humans, it felt heavy and sickening.. Maybe Amethyst could help her?

"Gotcha'! Jus'.. Lemme a few moments!" Spinel calls out nervously, hands fumbling again with the cap.

The warmth was gone, leaving her with the now heaviness of the 'juice'. She felt cold, and tired. A little distraught even that the juice didn't help like it should've. But as Steven stirred, her thoughts were pressed aside. But one thing she knew was she _needed_ to ask Amethyst for more. Some that would perhaps help her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> again sorry for mess-ups my phone sucks!

It wasn't surprising, but Steven was hard to wake up.

The least he'd do was shift and grumble, pulling the thin throw-blanket over his ill frame further as he mumbled incoherent words. Did he even realize she was here, or was he too far out to even see? Spinel frowned at the idea, but cleared her throat and allowed her stretchy arm to push the bottle onto a nearby stand. Once it was safely put, she began to move closer to Steven and offer a gentle nudge, her nervous pout growing further into more of an inpatient frown. 

"Ey' uh.. Steven?" She asked quietly, voice raising in pitch as she let her nervousness get the best of her.

With no reply, she huffs heavily and begins to shift in her spot - arms tightly beginning to wrap around the hybrid as she held him in her arms. Once secure enough, she hurried her way down the stairs with one large stride. Nearly stumbling, she caught her balance and let out a sigh or relief, looking around for any sight of the previous-in-tow purple gem. With a glance towards the kitchen, and then to any nearby rooms - Spinel decided it was best to leave her to her.. _Soup_ making?

Spinel shuffled a few steps backwards, and heavily sat on the couch. With Steven still in her arms, she looked down at him with.. Somewhat of an expression of wonder. 

The closer she got, the more it really did strike her that.. Yes, this was _in-fact_ Pink's son. The same gentle-perk of their nose, the loose and wavy-curls of their hair.. When he stared at her, the softness and pure _love_ of their eyes.. It almost made her sick. 

She inhales sharply and loosens her tight grasp on Steven, head lolling back as she looked upwards at the ceiling ahead of her. The oddly colored wood planks - creaked and splintered in their obvious dismay of age, was amusing. But the longer she stared, the more her body felt tight and heavy - as if Steven was truly the only thing holding her down to Earth, and not floating off somewhere _alone_; and _lost._

And with great hesitation, Spinel was soon to shut her eyes hazily, hoping that the endless space that seemed to tug and pull at her limbs would leave her alone.

Her peace was short-lived, go figure. With the heavy weight of Steven against her, it almost had her beaming with the fact he was _finally _waking up. And with the medicine, he would be perfectly intact! Once he downed the rest, and felt better - then they could finally catch up! And.. Maybe even, she can manage a proper apology this time.

"Steve'?" Pouting, she offers him another small nudge and finds her small smile returning once more as those bright eyes of his began to open and shine up at her. It seemed he went through several emotions just at the moment of seeing her. Confusion, exhaustion that was soon replaced with interest and a sheepish - but obviously weak smile. "You're still here?" He coughs out, sniffing as he began to ease into her touch and sit up more properly. At least, in a way that lessened his position of draping over her small frame and nearly suffocating her.

The Diamond inhaled and soon exhaled, a hand shakily running through his hair as he waited no time for her response to speak again. "How long have I been out? Jeez.. I promised Garnet I'd help at Little Home-World today, man I feel bad.." He groans, tugging a little at the curled strands before letting go and allowing himself to stretch out his sore limbs.

"Pearl said she was gone before anyone knew it, so I - I'm sure its.. Uhm. Its okay, n' all." Spinel shrugs, blushing lightly at her lack of communication skills. She was never a good gem to rant to - she could play games, but advice was not her thing whatsoever. 

Clearing her throat to avoid the awkwardness of the heavy silence that stood between them, she continued on. "And besides, she seemed pretty keen on keeping you here till you were.. Better, or whatevah'." She sighed and rubbed at his shoulder carefully, hoping that maybe it gave some sort of reassurance to him. But with his blank expression and stoic movement, it was really hard to tell if he was even upset in the first place - or reassured, for that matter. With that in mind, she was quick to let her arms unravel from Steven's frame and slap right back to her sides - emitting an exaggerated 'shlap' noise once retreating.

Steven gave a small 'hum' instead of a full answer, telling her that he was in fact listening, but still far too gone to even remotely ponder a full response to her supposed excuse. 

"Yea'.. Sounds like Pearl." He snorts, sniffing and melting right back into the seats of the couch. 

Spinel continued to stare at him with a sad expression, her eagerness melting into a much more chill one - conflicted, and pondering over the fact that if it was a good idea to come to Earth after-all. Steven did want to see her, right? He was sick after-all, what was better with an extra hand in helping a sick friend? Well.. Yes, they didn't _exactly_ ask for any assistance, but.. The overwhelming feeling of desperation and pure loneliness began to riddle her pink body, leaving Spinel far more nervous then she actually wanted to do be. Hands shaky, usual high and poofy hair began to deflate like a pathetic balloon - and her own thoughts began to utterly destroy her, as if they were a being of their own. It was almost as if right then and there that she felt her usual high and tidy self melt down into the same mold of her re-formed self. 

Was this really all she had to her? A mix variety of emotions and pure self-hatred?

Was this all any saw, now?

"Spinel." Steven soon abruptly said, causing her to whip her head back and stare back at the weak Diamond. His face was pale, paler then it had been before and honestly? It terrified her to no end. It was a familiar expression, one she liked to pretend she left drift away from her memory as a whole. It was one of fear, yet at the same time such a submissive expression that it made her want to bring him in for a tight hug.

He didn't say a word after that, only staring blankly forwards and only making Spinel even more worried. "Uh..Eheh. Steve'? Whats up, bud'." She finally grumbles out, giving his shoulder another tight squeeze and causing him to bolt up almost as if she had burned him with pure lava. "Hey! Yer' too sick to do that, get down!" It sounded like a child taunting a pet, especially with her voice raising in pitch as she only grew more stressed. But of course, Steven didn't listen, giving her a wave in hopes to settle her down as he darted away from the living-space. Was he trying to ditch her?

Spinel's body stiffened, and she felt her gem ache in her body. Was he really that tired of her? So done and utterly _irritated_ beyond compression that he just.. Darted off? It felt familiar yet far more malicious then her last experience. 

"You're not getting off that easily, buddy!" She growls, tears threatening to spill from her eyes and burn her face with more black tear-riddled streaks. 

Once she followed him, he was quick to stop her; waving his hands and shaking 'no' fast. Was he _really_ this ruthless? Was he gonna leave her, like SHE DID? Was he REALLY like her? He wasn't different, he was worse! He -

Steven's legs buckled under him, and he clutched his stomach with tears burning his reddened and tired eyes. Spinel stared down at him with confusion, a part of her wanting to scream at him and beg to understand what she did wrong _this time._ Was she really that unbearable? To have someone like Steven, so full to the rim with love and compassion, get so fed up with her shenanigans that fast?

"Bathroom, o - or trash-can. Spinel -" Steven tried, legs trembling far too much to even hold his heavy frame up. "Yo -.. You, wow! Ahah.. Ahaha! Really, that is what you want? T - To.. I don't know, leave me? Again? After all I tried to do for you? I - I don't get it, Steven Universe!" She cries out, hands shaking and threatening to reach up and pull at her hair. Instead, she picked up the hybrid harsh and dragged him to the bathroom, which was only a few more steps away. Holding him in her arms, she could easily feel each tremble and how sudden his heat spiked up. Maybe she was.. Being too harsh on him?

  
"Can you at least tell me that, huh?! I - I swear I'll leave ya' alone, just.. Don't leave me hanging! I can't stand her in questions for any longer!" The tears that spilled down her cheeks were quick to halt. Steven had violently pulled away and slammed the toilet-lid (whatever that was.. Wasn't even a word. He only described it upon Amethyst threatening to try and flush down it again. Were humans genuinely this weird?) and got to his knees and began to violently hack and cough. "Ar - Are you trying to ignore me? Thi - This. This isn't that simple! Steven. Universe!" She exclaims, but goes silent and still as a wilting rose once he emits.. Whatever that was. It sounded like gurgling, yet at the same time he'd wheeze and sputter back. 

"..He - Hey, uh.. I don't know if, maybe I said somethin' wrong? Or.." Spinel tried, wiping the heavy tears from her eyes and began to take hesitant steps towards the ill Diamond.

He shook his head again, and raised a hand - opening his mouth to answer her before another wave of sputtering coughs and gags left his body. A vile fluid left his body, and he seemed to grimace just as much as she did upon seeing it. Except, it was.. Coming from him. 

"Steven. I - I don't know what dis' is about! Did I say somethin'? Is this normal? What -" She exclaims, leaning down to her knees to hug his frame close to herself. Steven seemed to not mind this comfort, and only leaned into her every once and awhile he'd _not _sputter and emit such strange and disturbing fluid. "Talk me through this, pal.. Am I - do you need sometin'.." She whispers, brows furrowed as she wiped a few stray tears from his eyes.

Steven coughed and shook his head, breathing fast and heavy. He tried to manage out a few words, but could only groan. 

"I got us some chips, Spin'. I was gonna get some candy since I know you like it so much but they -" Amethyst called out loudly, her booming voice easily being heard through the semi-empty beach-house. Spinel easily allowed her rubber neck to spin around completely, possibly being unnerving for a human but perfectly normal for a gem. "Can ya' help?! Steven isn't answerin'.. And he - he's, spitting? A lot? But it looks gross and _he_ seems to be grossed out!" She cries out, tightening her hug against him and only to regret it soon after once he sputtered into the toilet again.

Amethyst let out an audible groan, and shifted around. It wasn't til her heavy steps followed where the two gems were, that she pouted and narrowed her eyes a little. The same expression she had when Spinel first came to Earth after her tantrum. Uneasy, and not happy. Was this really her fault?

"Is.. Is this normal? I don't think I've ever seen a human do this. Or gem, or Diamond for that matter. H - He doesn't seem happy, and I might've yelled at him a little bu - but!" Spinel tried to reason to no one in particular, but was shushed with Amethyst and a semi-reassuring smile. She still didn't seem happy, but not annoyed as she looked earlier. Maybe now a little worried, but not angry. So.. This was normal?

"Steve' is sick, remember?" She huffs out, entering the restroom to kneel down aside Steven as well and give him a small rub on the head. "Better shower, bud. You'll feel better after a cold-shower. I'll ask Pearl to get some other medicine while she's out, kay'?" She hums out, giving a small smile at Steven once he looked up to her. He cleared his throat, and spat into the toilet again a few times before groaning and only leaning against Spinel more. "Mm..Kay'.. Just gimme' sec." Steven mumbles out, looking up at Spinel nervously. "S' gross.. Sorry you had to see that. And hear.." He shuts his eyes and continues to seat against Spinel, to which she hugged him tightly again. "Not normal, but.. When you're as sick as I am, then this is fine." He snorts, laughing sadly before exhaling.

Amethyst hummed in agreement, and nodded. "Exactly. Just gotta get some better meds then the ol' coughin' medicine. Trust me, Spin'. If anything it will help him feel better."

Better? It looked painful..

Noticing her confusion, she sighed and hopped up to sit on the counter of the sink, crossing her legs as she ruffled her own hair. "Its.. Hm. Its like, getting the sick outta' humans. It gives them some relief, and its perfectly normal once you're sick as a dog." Spinel didn't look satisfied, and Amethyst could only _groan _ again. "It gets the bad feelings outta' them! They got this weird thingamajig in their throat - " Amethyst motioned her own finger to her mouth, exaggerating her movements to shove the digit down her throat. "It makes them up-chuck their food and liquids and stuff. The thingy back there, usually. Its a gag-reflex, makes gross stuff happen but in the end they feel like, ten times better." Her voice was muffled and somewhat grumbled with her hand down her throat, but Spinel got the message regardless.

"Its sensitive when they accidentally touch it, but when they're sick! Its only bound to happen. I dunno the whole science behind it, but what I get from it is they eat food, then it comes back up - but all slimy and gross."

Spinel pouted, and looked back to the nearly sleeping Steven in her arms. 

"Poor fella'.. It looked painful. But, uhm. You said it made him feel better, right?.." She asked quietly, and Amethyst quickly nodded. "Yeah! His stomach prob' feels waaay better. Not-_not _sick. But, it eases his pain."

Not better, but eases him. Spinel pondered over this, and was soon to nod and stand up from her spot from the tilted floor. 

"Gotcha'.. Will it happen again?" She looks over to the Quartz with worry, to which she shrugged. "Unno'. Sorry, only he can really know. His body basically tells him n' stuff. Its wack."

Nodding, she soon hastily left the bathroom and sent a small glance in Amethyst's direction, to which she promptly gave a thumbs up.

Whilst walking up stairs, she began to think..

Maybe she should ask Pearl about this. She could use the relief, herself.


	4. Chapter 4

"Is he really that sick?"

Pearl had barely stepped through the door, already asking millions of questions with a hand to her mouth and eyes showing pure worry and anxiousness. Amethyst, having sent Pearl a call to ask about some anti-nausea meds, had her full of tons of questions and worried exclaims. She easily said she didn't mind coming home, and if anything she _told_ Amethyst directly she was on her way home. Amethyst sided it off as her being a mother-hen, but Spinel could only be relieved more then anything to have someone who somewhat understood the situation more then the two of them.

Amethyst seemed nonchalant, and Pearl was.. Well, she was ranting and making calls every second it seemed. Most of them with being Steven's father, Mr.Uhm (she was directly told it was Greg Universe, but Spinel disagreed. He said it himself, why would he lie?) and a few with Garnet. Otherwise, everything hadn't changed. Spinel stayed as Steven's side, mostly for her own sanity. Seeming him so weak worried her, but Amethyst reassured her it was nothing he couldn't handle.

"Are you sure you took his temperature? This is no joke, this is a big deal! Oh, goodness. I can only imagine how ill he must feel.. I should call Greg again about some more proper medicine to give him. Maybe he has some home recipes for meals, too, that he can keep down."

Spinel listened, taking in each bit of information she could comprehend. More strange juices to make him less sick, and a visit from Uhm. Not bad at all, right?

"Spinel?" Pearl soon called out, hands clasped together as she looked to the two resting on the couch. Steven's jacket was skew on the ground, a lose t-shirt on as he mumbled the complaint of being too hot. He felt freezing, now, but complied to his request anyways. Pearl stepped closer and leaned to rest a delicate and thin hand to his forehead, thinking intensely. "Was there anything off? Anything worth noting, so we can decipher what bug he must have?" She asked, or more-so plead to her.

She thought, but shook her head. 

This was her first time seeing something like this, all of it seemed strange and concerning; but she descided against telling that to Pearl. She already seemed so riled up.

"..Mm, noh'. He says he is hot, tho'.. If that means anytin'." She shrugged, brushing a hand against Steven's curled bangs to relieve him some more. "Yes, yes. He was saying that all day. I suppose it does add up. Thank you, Spinel. I am thankful you still stayed. My first encounter with a human being sick was Greg, way back when. And let me say, it was more then stressful." She nervously chuckled, and clears her throat, moving back to her typical height and stance.

”I’m nearly positive you don’t have a phone, but if you or Steven need anything, do give me or Garnet a call. Amethyst is gonna be here with you, as Garnet and I are gonna see if there are any recipes that aren’t too harsh on Steven. Though while she is a little immature — I’m sure she will be of help regardless.” She smiles, and shifts back to the kitchen, jotting down notes to leave on the fridge if any questions were left unanswered, or numbers to call and so on.   
  


And while Spinel didn’t know what a good majority of the numbers meant, she complied either way.

It felt like hours that she sat in silence, only watching Steven as she felt herself grow nervous and unsure of what to do with herself. The want to apologize for her reaction from earlier was heavy, but the vacant expression Steven held was more then enough to tell her that it wasn’t the best of times to do it.

Shutting her eyes, she took the time to listen to the gentle breeze of the wind outside — and the way the ocean was still loud enough to be heard from such a layered home as theirs.

”Hey, Spin’?” A quiet voice called out, making Spinel drift from her past wonders and instead look to the source with a tired expression. She felt drained from having such an intense outbreak at Steven, for something that wasn’t even his fault! Her and her stupid problems, getting mad over the smallest things.. ”I made some food for Steve’, but he’s probably not gonna wake annny time soon. Was’ wondering if you wanted a bite before I devour this entire thing.”

In her lavender hands was a plate with a pastry of sorts; it smelled sweet, and was a golden crisp. “Pie.” Amethyst simply said, shrugging as she plopped down next to Spinel and the Diamond in her lap. “I didn’t actually make it, Pearl made some a few days ago and we had left over, so.. Warmed that baby up and bada-bam!” She beamed at this, and cackled a little before going silent, clearing her throat through the heavy silence.

”..Er. Right. Dunno’ what pie is, do you.” She offered a grin, quirking a light brow up before only leaning closer to the Spinel.   
  


“Well, good thing Amethyst is here! To show you the wonders of pie! And everything else to eat in this house O’ ours.” She cut the large slice in half, only to corner it in a smaller bit to fork up and press to Spinel’s mouth. “I know you’ve eaten candy, but actual food is waaay different. A little heavy, but once I can help ya’ shape-shift humans wacky system, and help you ACTUALLY be able to digest and not just let this junk sit in your gem, you’ll be thanking me!”   
  


Spinel supposed she did have a point. Candy was her favorite, but it was all she could manage to let herself have. It was sweet, and made your mouth raw. Something about it was enjoyable, perhaps the sweetness over the raw-mouth.

”..Erm. Was’ it again?” She squeaks out, grasp tightening on Steven. Nervous? No way. Maybe a little. “Pie, or whatevah’.. Is it sweet, too?”

Amethyst blinks blankly, and soon takes the bite herself, swallowing down the bit happily. “Hmm.. Yeah. Sweet and savory, really. It has some strawberries in it, which makes it sweet — but I always put some sugar on the strawberries, so it’s 10x sweeter.” She snickers. “Pearl hates me for it.”

Spinel nodded, and cleared her throat. “..Wat’ else do I got to lose?” She mumbles, laughing nervously and earning a pat on the head (or more-so her pony-tails) and the fork shoved yet again to her mouth.

Instead if backing away, she decided to take the bite in despite nervousness, allowing the flavors to soak into her tongue. It was definitely sweet, but in a different way.. Not bad, by all means. “Whatcha’ say is in dat’ gain’?” She perks an eyebrow up, and stares curiously at the plate with starry eyes. “Strawberries, doofus! Fruit junk. Healthy, or whatever, if that’s what you’re going on about. Pearls the same way, but no on can deny that sweets beat healthy stuff by a mile.”

Never having had ‘healthy’ stuff didn’t give her an opinion, but she surely knew this pie stuff wasn’t as frightening as it seemed.

”There are TOOONS of food that are worth trying. Once we get Steve’ better, I’m sure he’d love to tag along in our food adventure.” She grinned, taking a bite herself then offering more.

Spinel happily obliged.

”Awh’ was actually gunna’ ask Pearl bout’ dis stuff..” She says, chewing her food before swallowing. The heaviness was definitely noticeable, and she was thankful Amethyst at least somewhat brought up her previous questions.

”Food, n’ that stuff. How do you, uh.. Eat. O - Or, eat normally.”

It took Amethyst a few seconds before she understood, nodding as she set the plate aside. “Ohhh. Body stuff, kay’. Pearl probably is the better one to ask, since she’s all.. Science-y. But I’m just as good? Probably better even!” She grins, motioning to herself triumphantly.

”Basically you got it all down. Jus’ gotta help you out, so you can digest it and all. Kinda drains you when you gotta shape-shift the weirdness of human bodies, but in the long run it’s so worth it. Plus it’s kinda fun. Us, gems — we got no limits! Nothing really hurts us that would hurt humans. Like, hmm..” She pondered, and looked around. “Coughing syrup, yeaaah.” She nods, snatching the bottle of ‘juice’ that sat in the table besides side them.

”Humans can’t drink all this in a go. Makes them worse, then better. But us? Yeah, we get the tired and like — buzzed side effects or whatever, but it doesn’t hurt us! Basically what I’m saying is, we get more on our plate then typical.” She winks, and tossed the bottle back to her.

Rubbing small hands together, she snickers and motions her to follow her to the kitchen. 

“Steven needs to rest anyways, and I’m sure after a nap he will be hungry anyways, poor dude barfed his guts out. We can get something lighter with him later, but for now!” Amethyst opened the fridge, rubbing her chin as she pondered.

”Gotta find the good-goods to start ya’ off with.”

Making sure Steven was comfortable and safe, she hurried after Amethyst and watched curiously, pony-tails beginning to perk up.   
  


It wasn’t Pearl, but at least she was getting an answer. If anything, she didn’t think she saw Pearl ever eat — considering it wasn’t a need for gems. But what’s the fun in that!


	5. Chapter 5

It was safe to say the day was full of worry, anxious glances back and forth and sweet treats.

Amethyst and been fast to exclaim her enjoyment of food, wanting to have the heart-cut gem try anything and everything to see the same wonder she saw. And truly, it was interesting. Seeing as such appetizing meals and snacks were so delicately made, only to be eaten and gone — poof! Forever!

It honestly confused Spinel, but she had grew a fondness towards cookies and fries — two of Amethyst’s one favorites, also.

With that, they both decided to go out more often, and treat each other with eager grins in place — just them. And it was a strange sensation, feeling so whole and in place. And the Diamond’s were great, surely! It was just a new sensation. Someone appreciating her, even at her worst. Even when she screamed in anger and heaved sobs at any reoccurrence that even just barely implied her disregards.

And Amethyst was in now way a comforting person, she was more of a — jeez, you’re crying! People are staring. And a, slap on the back and reassuring look. She was harsh, in a way. Straight forwards, yet slow and careful if needed.

Spinel liked it. It was new, after all.

It had been weeks now since the occasion of Steven’s bug, and thankfully he was more then better! The icky ‘vomit’ thing happened more then Spinel could count, and each time she only grew more confused, yet grimly intrigued..

He merely had a sniffle, now! Back to working on Little Home-World with the others, and giving visits to friends and shops that had shown concern. And Spinel, thank the stars! Was more then relieved. Having made sure she had Steven swear to never get so bad again (he was confused, but decided to go with it and laughed with her about it) and went on her way.

But returning to Homeworld felt empty. The Pearl’s were fun, but Blue and Yellow much more preferred Earth over it. Pink was always lost in thought, writing countless words down in a journal for who knew to read. And the Diamonds, well.. Making peace was their main priority. It wasn’t surprising, but it wasn’t only Earth they screwed over.   
  
Steven was surely contacting her again, and had seemingly forgotten over her tantrum while helping him recover. But something felt wrong.

Everything just felt _wrong. _  
  


Maybe she could ask for some of that what’s-it-syrup, she could really use something to feel better..

But the countless visits back and forth didn’t ease the heavy sorrow she felt. In fact, she felt worse. Amethyst was always eager to grab a bite, or even cackle and pick fun at Steven as he tried so desperately to beat a level of some game he got. And the gems at Little-Home-World were always there with open arms.

So why did she felt so lost? So heavy, and.. Uncomfortable.

It was as if any second her seams would burst, letting out the emotions and fears spill for everyone to see.

And then what would happen?

Would they see her work wasn’t working at all? That as much as she tried, with her jokes and quirks still too dark and upsetting, she wouldn’t fit into the mold she was made to be? A jokester, yes. Comedian? Sure.

But she’d never be a best friend. Never.

It was on days like these she wanted to tug on her hair and cry. Scream to anyone who would listen, only to cower and hide away in embarrassment. Then, again, cry and scream in rage that anyone even listened to her meaningless rants.

But instead of hiding in her designated room in the palace, she ventured to Earth and easily slid into Steven’s bed, hiding under the blankets. In return, she got a surprised Steven and Connie, eyes widened yet full of amusement.   
  
  


They offered her to tag along their walk around the city, smiling happily and.. Genuinely looking as if they wanted her along.

But she knew better, and promptly shook her head no. Cuddling only deeper into the sheets, she inhaled the familiar scent and tried to just ‘breath’. Which, in reality, wouldn’t help. 

”Is everything good?” Steven asked anxiously, pushing her lightly just barely to make room to sit aside her, with Connie on tail. “The Diamonds aren’t being.. Weird, are they?” He’d reassured her before that it would be hard to get used to their new and still improving behaviors. But as odd as they were, she still could only offer a shake of her head.

Her mind felt clouded, heavy and uncomfortable. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t focus on anything good in the bitter universe she was placed in.

But this had Connie’s attention, as she shifted closer, even despite only being aware of Spinel as one of the many ruthless gems that tried to kill Steven; she smiled. “Sometimes distraction is the best solution.” She said gently, leaning back up to meet Steven’s eyes

”When I just barely met Steven, knowing he got into all this trouble was.. Well. Terrifying. That any day, maybe he’d disappear. So.. “ She trailed off, rubbing her arm as a light tin of blush trailed her cheeks.

”Maybe it was for his sake, or maybe just a way to distract how stressed I was; I began working with Pearl. She taught me the moves I needed to be there, just in case!” With a flex of her arm, the two humans (well, human and hybrid) laughed with eachother. And Spinel never saw something more perfect

This could of been her. Her and Pink. Laughing, being happy.

Her face heat up in rage, yet embarrassment.

”Learning for me is a good way to ease down. Focus on something more then what’s hurting you. I’m sure Pearl, if anyone here could teach you, she’d be super happy to!” 

Spinel pondered, eyes drifting to her gloved hands that tightened on the sheets anxiously.

But Pearl was hers. Something, a toy, a treasure — something she wanted, and kept til her very death. Why couldn’t that be here.

”Okay.”

Spinel hopes up fast, startling the two by her sudden change in tude’.

”Okay?” Connie repeats, brows furrowing.

Spinel stretches her arms out, sighing heavily as she looked away. “Being happy is.. Hard.” She shrugged, soon clasping her hands together gently. “And when I’m with my.. My friends, it feels easier. But maybe you’re right. Maybe I do need to.. Focus on something entirely new.”

Maybe not gem history, or how the war went while she was left waiting for years in end — but something taboo.

Earth, perhaps? No. Something deeper. She wanted to see what her Pink saw.

Humans.

”Oh! Spinel, that’s great!” Steven exclaimed, shocked by her determination. He stands up, and wastes no time to hug her tightly.

”If it doesn’t help in the end, Connie and I and — well. Everyone! We’ll be right there for you.” He smiles, and gives her a playful hit on the shoulder.

He moves to take Connie’s hand into his own (it made her jaw clench) and keeps his warm expression to her, his smile more genuine then ever.   
  


“Pearl would be thrilled to teach you some stuff. She basically knows everything, I swear. She might be in her room. Just give her a knock, and go from there!” Spinel nodded, and felt her smile falter. He wasn’t going to stay? Now that she thought about it, she wasn’t sure if she could do this after all.   
  
“Hey.”

He pauses, giving Connie the chance to walk down and meet him outside. Spinel barely noticed time continuing, still standing still — hands clasped and suddenly the vines tugged are her and tore her tights, and suddenly the ceiling was empty stars and meaningless words and promises and —

“I believe in you.”

His hand was heavy on her, and she wanted to beg him to stay. But she nodded instead, and offered a smile that was truly more of a grimace then anything.

”..And I trust you.” She manages, voice wavering.   
  


“Eheh.. Believe in Steven. But seriously, just.. Calm down. Take a break, you know? Maybe Pearl can even take you out to places her and mom would hang out.”

Just then? Only the two of them? And what, she was left to wait standing upside down like some clown?

”Yeah.” She found herself nodding,

“For sure.”


	6. Chapter 6

The search for Pearl was easily overwhelming, because by this point she could be anywhere. And Spinel didn't even know where to start. A part of her wish she had an excuse to stay with Steven and Connie, despite their offer. Maybe she could've just stayed in his bed all day, even. Because the mere idea of stepping forwards and knocking on Pearl's supposed _room_, was terrifying.

The Pearl Spinel knew was an obedient one, unable to say no in the face of her Diamond - of Pink Diamond.

But now? She seemed more mature then ever. Not lost when Pink would tell her to stay, not eager to obey and praise every single move Pink did. She seemed to have finally freed herself from the hellish grasp of the Diamonds. She was her own person - she and she herself alone, fulfilled herself. She made herself whole, and seemed to be pretty fixed on keeping it that way.

Waiting till Steven and Connie fully left, and with a hesitant glance out the window to reassure they were far enough, Spinel hopped from her spot and looked around nervously. Where to start.. Well, her room was for starters. But there was no way she'd be able to just barge in (even though she was mere knocking) like that and expect her guidance. So, she let her feet walk around in apparent circles for what felt like years, not daring to stand still - looking at the couch, sometimes in between. Opening the door then shutting it more then twice, as if she was waiting for someone to walk in, and be let in through the doorway.

It wasn't too long til she saw how childish she looked, the windows blasting a faint but noticed reflection. She almost hadn't recognized herself.

The makeup that streaked her cheeks looked darker then ever, and whilst it wouldn't ever truly leave, Blue Diamond was usually the one to wipe a colossal finger against her face delicately, rubbing the pain away from her face with her own tearful eyes. Except, her sadness didn't elevate her own; Blue was genuinely sad, and showed it greatly whenever she'd return with smeared makeup. 

So seeing the mess upon herself made her feel sick, almost disappointed. Her ponytails, now frizzed and no longer in their loved buns; what else could she even lose?

Her gem, thankfully, didn't move. Perhaps shifted upside down, but still there. Her own pain was all she had. And it sucked.

Inhaling sharply, she rubbed her arm subconsciously and turned on her heel, leaving the living space and into the small yet comfortable kitchen. She blinked at the.. Fridge, and felt her face heating up. Ever since Amethyst, she truly did grow a liking to food. But the idea of snatching something from a place that wasn't even hers, it made her feel filthy. But for the fact she _did in fact _sneak into their home, and slept in Steven's _own bed_ without asking was.. Fairly close to the situation itself. And he didn't seem to mind, in fact he seemed to find it.. Funny. Something she didn't feel to consider herself for ages on end.

Sometimes he would sit next to him, as she did to him when he was ill-ridden and not even able to keep water down.

But now it was the other way around, and it was rather ironic, if she was honest. Despite her embarrassment and increasing heat when he'd sit aside her and gently twirly her frizzed and crazy hair with a delicate finger, she felt safe. Wanted, for once - by a stranger. Perhaps he wasn't completely one. Pink was _still some how_ in there, she had to be. Her gem was on his very body. And despite that, it was still hard to not imagine the two as the same. Steven was Steven, wholesome and eager to help anyone _even _if they tried to kill him. 

And Pink? She.. Was something else. So loving but.. So naive. She kinda missed it.

Twiddling her fingers together, she was soon to sharply exhale and open the fridge, kneeling to see the containment of it.

Most of it was meals Pearl had yet to prep for the household, while the rest was some packaged treats and leftovers. She squinted, and moved items around before finding some.. Bread-y looking thing. It seemed to resemble a sandwich, but not like any that Amethyst had made her before.. The ones she'd made usually consisted of random junk she shoved in two slices of bread. She insisted it was better that way, and sure it tasted funky but eating was honestly fun. It made her forget - distract her. A strange euphoric feeling from it, and Amethyst reassured her humans got the same way too when eating a treat they particularly liked. But still.

She snagged the sandwich and took a bite out of it - noting that it wasn't overwhelming full of flavor like the meals Amethyst made for the two of them.

It was simple, instead. Sweet, a red coating almost similar to the pie she had tasted those days ago. But there was a thicker coating of.. Paste? On it. It wasn't as sweet, but had a nice flavor. The two oddly contrasting spreads worked great together, and Spinel couldn't help but down the meal fast. Reaching for another few left-overs within the fridge, she easily devoured the last three items she snagged and found herself flinching at the sound of the warp-pad materializing.

She wasn't sure what it was, but out of fear she shoved the last food(?) item she got in her mouth, embarrassed at the sudden interruption, and for the fact that she had been so lost in such a simple task as eating.

"Steven, Greg and I were wondering if you wanted to tag along for -.."

The tall and slender gem remained on the pad, hands cupped to mouth as she called out to seemingly no one. Frowning, she furrowed her brows in thought. The squeak of Spinel's boots shocked her from her stance, tensed before easing back down once she saw who it actually was.

"Oh. It is just you." She exhales, running a hand through her hair in relief before stepping down. "You haven't happened to see Steven, have you? I was hoping to catch him before he went out with Connie today. Perhaps I was a bit too distracted tuning my bass." She blushes, offering a nervous smile as her arms fold behind her frame. "But.. From what I'm seeing, I'm assuming he has been long gone for a bit now.."

Spinel swallows hard, letting the sweetness and savory taste slide down her throat. It left her happy to have tasted yet another new thing, but at the same time the guilt was eating her alive. It made her more self-aware then she could explain. As if she felt the heaviness of the food inside her very light-form, almost how it felt before Amethyst showed her how to actually digest the nonsense. It felt like it was weighting her gem down, again. But how? 

"He actually jus' left with that gal o' his, but - uhm." She sniffs a little, fumbling with a stray strand of hair. "'Kinda glad you popped up." Maybe not exactly, she was hoping to have not been caught sneaking in their food, but Pearl didn't seem to notice; thank the stars. "I was wondering if I could ask ya' sometin'.." Her voice lowered in volume the more she explained herself, but yet again Pearl seemed to have not even noticed. Or maybe she wasn't phased enough to show direct concern, or annoyance for that matter. "Like - I unno'. I'd like some help on.. Anythin' and everytin'." 

Pearl listened closely, squinting a little before nodding while still showing to be unsure.

"..I see. Is there an issue at the palace? It has been - jeez. Ages, in the least, so I cannot imagine that everything has stayed the same."

The anxiousness only grew more as Pearl spoke - should she just go along? It wasn't what she was talking about, but perhaps she could just pretend..

"Ac - Actually, er.. " She cleared her throat, pulling and tugging at any loose strands of threat on her gloves. "I was hoping you could maybe help me.. Learn more. Ab - About Earth. Or humans, or anytin' that makes it worth while to.. Stay here." She grumbles, trailing off. "Ha - Has to have somethin' worth while for.. For so many people to be here, and Pink came here anyways, and.." She frowns, swallowing shakily. The heaviness in her gem was only worsening, and Spinel wished she could just pull the food out to stop feeling so out of place and heavy. Why didn't Amethyst feel this way? Was it normal?

Lost in thought, and feeling to be on the verge of pulling her hair out, Pearl was fast to gasp and place a hand to her chest.  
  


"Oh! _Oh._ I see. Yes, oh my mistake! I guess I wasn't comprehending it. So many notes to remember, and the studies with Greg have -. " She clears her throat, pausing her self indulgent rambling to smile widely at Spinel. "It would be a pleasure of mine. I'm sure you can see what we saw in this planet once I get you the gist of things." 

What they saw?

_THEY?_

It was planned from the beginning, Pearl was in on this; maybe she encouraged this behavior. If she wasn't there, at _HER _Diamond's side; would she be along her? On this taboo planet, understanding and feeling the love Pink felt and saw.

"Just let me ring Greg and explain it to him. I need to reschedule our practice!" She hums happily, pointing up a little before happily trotting to where Spinel stood. Her eyes drifted to the fridge, left ajar in Spinel's panicked frenzy to swallow the last bites she had - but didn't peep a word. It seemed like she almost expected it, by the small glance of her eyes from the heart-cut gem and back to the fridge.

"It won't be long, I'll have you wait in my room!"

Wait. What was happening again?

"Huh? Call off Uhm -" "Greg." "But you can't do that! Awe, shucks.. I can wait, I don't wanna intrude since you - eheh. You had plans and.." Pearl shook her head no and only smiled further. She gently moved her slender hands to press against Spinel's spiked shoulders, leading her to the middle of the room on the large pad. "I have all the time in the world to practice music. Besides, teaching is something I am rather fond of. Trust me, Spinel, its no bigger of an issue at all. " The gem upon her forehead grew dimly, causing the entrance that still somehow, had no direct door - would glow as well. The small gems in-bedded above would glow as well, but the elongated gem, similar to Pearls, would glow the most. 

Her eyes glanced at each. The purple quartz was obviously Amethyst's room, whilst the two smallest gems were Garnet's. And lastly.. The largest, and most vibrant. She felt sick, and barely noticed her hands reaching up to pull at her hair.

The cut. The shape, the size and the _patterns. _How did they not see their lost Diamond in it? _How did no one notice?_

"I'll be there as soon as I finish the call, okay? You can just wait in the mean time! Oh, be sure to not touch anything. I have it specifically organized so I'd rather not have things askew! Thank you!" Pearl exclaimed, shoving her onto the pad and leading her to see the suddenly opening entrance before her. And Spinel, more lost and oblivious then anything, walked in.

It was light, and far then vibrant. It was cold, too. Not that it directly bothered her. But the side of light water falls and a sky - a cloudless sky, it was odd.

She could've been there, too. Had a room of her own.

Full of toys and cotton candy and games.

It could've been her.


	7. Chapter 7

Staying in Pearl’s room wasn’t really ideal.

It left her to think, and even worse observe. Considering a.. Closet of sorts was open (though it was more of a hologram then anything) and easily showed off her collection of swords, alongside with a few old looking guitars. One had scribble cursive, but Spinel could care less about it it.

Clasping her hands together behind her back, she takes a step away and continues on observation.

Each step, each heavy breath — it all seemed to echo and blast back at her while in the room. It was unnerving. But with a gentle squeak of her boots, and a sift hum emitting from her throat; attempting at easing down.

But each second felt like an hour and so on, and there was absolutely no way she could stay still.

The fanged vines would hold her prisoner, and make her watch her life move before her eyes yet again. Watch Pink drift away, and then Steven fade.

”I apologize for that! Rescheduling and the sorts, but anyways.” Clearing her throat, Pearl took delicate steps to the smaller gem. 

“I need to get some items out, but.. Hmm. It’s been awhile since I needed them.” She murmurs to mostly herself, raising a hand to spawn yet another holo-shelf, flicking through items and pondering out loud to no one but herself.

Spinel could only observe, finding herself shifting and shimmying around to not stay still.

The high tentativeness of her squeaks seemed to notify Pearl, to which she nervously laughed. “Ehm.. My apologies. I swear I placed it around here..” More shelves spawned, more items switched around. More time to observe and just listen to her countless rambles.

”Aha! Here. I figured you and most gems get the gist of planets and space and whatnot. And truly, I think I always found humans more interesting then Earth itself.” She held a heavy and dusted over book, keeping her same gentle and precise posture as she walked to Spinel.

Her gem dimmed, and a table was spawned within the glassy room.   
  


The table matched the same aesthetic, the table itself made of a thin yet swirled silver — topping it off with glass placements.

She tossed the book on the table, obviously confident that it wouldn’t even shatter or as so crack under such treatment. “I mostly find their anatomy as so. So different and distinct from us. They have far more functions, and are so delicate. I always was more fond of the works of them. Rose adored their emotions, and their minds. So distinct and open minded compared to us.” She sighed, cheeks dusting with that far too familiar tint.

Spinel furrowed her brows, pondering. Rose. Rose.. 

“Rose was fast to understand them. I suppose having watched from afar helped, but Greg surely showed her how genuine and gentle they truly were. In a way, I feel Rose was always.. More human then gem.”

Spinel stepped closer and took an empty seat, staring at the book with the same furrowed expression.

”..Wa - Was.. Uh. Was she happy.” Spinel murmurs, arms resting on the glass table.

Pearl seemed taken back, looking to her as she slowly skimmed through pages that had countless notes and scribbling in both English and their home tongue.   
  


“...” Pearl remained quiet, looking down for a moment, before sitting down — scooting her seat closer to Spinel. “..What happened, Spinel?” She asked delicately, browns furrowed. Not a lick of sadness or concern — maybe save the smallest bit if she were to have another scene and try to kill them, but only curiosity and almost.. Familiarity shone.

Snorting and leaning back, she twirls a finger in a loose strand of hair and hums loudly. 

“What didn’t happen? I —. I thought it was preeeetty obvious.”

Silent again, she slowly closes the book and pushes it aside, letting her arms drape over the table in some sort of way to show she was all ears to her.

”Well.. Yes. Steven did give the overall gist to me once we all recovered. But I want to hear it from you. I feel he may of left out important details.”

What else was their to know?

”..I was stupid, and listened to her. Waited for 6000 years _and counting! _I waited like an idiot for her to come back and — gah! I can’t believe I didn’t piece things together.” She frowns deeply and tugs at the loose strand, face heated up and the heaviness of her gem returning.

”Pink wanted a colony. Pink wasn’t happy, she wanted to be treated like the others — like a Diamond. Not a stupid, dumb and annoying gem!”

Pearl seemed to not be phased, only staring with her same stoic look.

What did Pink see in her?

”Pink this, Pink that! I just wasn’t enough. Wasn’t as grounded as her, not mature enough — not!..” She felt a hand tentatively grab onto her own. Not force filled, not unsure or hesitant. Just there.

Empty.

”..Not good.” Pearl murmurs, her cheeks beginning to darken heavily now.

Spinel wanted nothing more to slap the color off her face. “I understand what you’re saying. I’m.. Perhaps not entirely the same, but I felt the same way towards her.”

The light waterfalls within the room suddenly went to a halt, leaving them in utter silence.

”Yes, I was her Pearl. But I also was White’s. I was perfect — or so it was seemed. White adores Pink Diamond, wanting only the best for her. But.. Pink Diamond was childish. And her Pearl only proved further. We switched, and I never saw her Pearl again but! But —“

Her hand retreated, pulling back to rest on where a heart shaped gem would’ve if it had been her instead.

”I was sent aside to put her in line. But you know what? Each Pearl, every one of us.. We hold a similarity to our.. Higher heads. It was at first, for once, I was witnessing something so perfectly imperfect. And it was amazing.”

Spinel couldn’t comprehend where she was leading this, but found the anger melt away — leaving her cool, and empty.

”White hid her flaws, but Pink Diamond.. She voiced them. Someone so loud, but certain to get what she wanted. But that’s.. Not exactly the point.” She trailed off, the passion she once held now seeming to be uncertain. “I would stay at her side, keeping her accountable — but you know what? Pink Diamond was no one more then a Diamond to me. A successor, just a little lost. My only goal was to get her on track, and return to my previous place. But it wasn’t until her true colors showed. Pink Diamond, in no means, was a good person. In fact, she could be ruthless — and it only shadowed over it once the Diamond’s declared that Earth was to her theirs; to suck the very life from it.”

She heard this story over and over again.. Whispered from the Pearl’s back at the palace, to the quartz soldiers who fought in it. What was Pearl getting at? Only bettering her point that Pink was bad, and left her — on purpose?!

”Pink Diamond was perfectly imperfect. And only wanted to keep the Earth safe, because it was _hers._ But, ooh.. Then she discovered what lives were laid upon this world. Not just flowers, not just the same old roses she had in her room and gardens —“ Gardens. _Gardens? “_It was something entirely new. Humans. It was as if at that moment, a new gem was made. Someone fuller, someone more understanding yet still so curious. Rose. My Rose Quartz.”

Her hands slammed against the table before she could even stop herself, eyes widened and bewildered.

”What is this? Some joke? Rubbing it in my face that — that she has this stupid planet, and these stupid pointless rotten flowers an - and!”

”Pink Diamond was not Rose Quartz.”

Well. That’s.. Not exactly true, because —

“They held the same gem, the same laugh and smile — yes. But.. They weren’t the same. Not by a second. Perhaps they both wanted only the best for Earth, but Rose didn’t want to save it out of her own dread and lack of containment. Rose wanted the Earth safe, for them. Not her, but to keep the life going on — forever. Rose Quartz is who I fell in love with. Not Pink Diamond.”

Spinel felt her throat tighten, and her hand shakily retreated.

”I could never say no to her. I still couldn’t, if she were here.” She laughed, glancing away sadly. “But.. You see. We don’t have the same situation. I saw the best of her. I saw, and experienced and embraced Rose Quartz. You had.. Pink Diamond. If you met Rose,” don’t you dare, don’t you dare don’t — “you would’ve fallen, too. But you know what?”

She suddenly looked back, a tearful gaze in place. 

”One thing was the same. They both got tired, and moved on. _Fast_.”

...


	8. Chapter 8

Spinel couldn't find a single care in the world for Pearl's words. What was she going to get out of this? Only know further that the pure _meaning _of her very life, had the best last few hundred years on some gross Plant; without her?

Pearl seemed to not be phased by her harsh glance, only keeping her sensitive and tearful expression on set before slowly looking away.

"Perhaps I saw the best of her, but Spinel - please do not feel alone on this." She whispered almost, refusing to meet her gaze. Spinel felt her gem twist and churn at this, and -. Why did she feel so bad, for her? Why not herself? For the fact _she_ was the one left alone for so many years on end, why did she feel bad about this spoiled Pearl? "Rose.. Loved me. Perhaps not in the way I loved her. But she did love me. But sometimes, you need to - comprehend that not everything stays the same." Pearl looked back to Spinel, a lot of almost embarrassment on her face. "Because the love Rose and I had, I thought it was something out of this world. Never to be seen. But then she met Greg, and.. It went on from there." She waved her hand about as she spoke, her one that still rested on the table fiddling with anything that was at least somewhat near in her grasp

Maybe she did understand where she was coming from. But it wasn't as if she'd admit it. Because.. If it happened to others, if Pink -. _Rose, _did this to countless gems. What was so special about her? Did she just have countless best friends she left after a new one stepped in the spot-light? Was Uhm Greg Universe just the luckiest one to have had hear seal of approvement? 

"Soon after Rose met Greg and spent years on end with him, Steven was born. And.. I do sometimes have a hard time accepting that they are not the same. Be - Because they aren't." She exhaled, moving a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. "What I'm trying to tell you is.. We, all of us - her, were not perfect. And we make very bad decisions. Some that we do not want to even talk about, and that was her case. She wanted to be someone knew. She changed. But in no way does it change the fact that she left you." Spinel's eyes drifted into her lap, pondering sheepishly. "..And in no ways does it accept my behavior after her death. I was very.. Bad. Wrong, to Greg and so many others. Because I felt hurt, because why was it fair? Why did she leave for.. For Steven, and not stay for us - for _me?_" The ending her regret her anger, and want nothing more to mumble a sorrowful apology and leave Pearl's room ASAP. But she didn't, and in no way did Pearl seem upset by her previous outburst. "Because.. She was her own person. And we make our own decisions. Good or not. And I just.. Eheh. I suppose I just wanted to let you know that.. That you're not alone."

Spinel still felt alone. Felt so lost, and hurt. But knowing that Pearl, perfect and stunning - delicate, skinny Pearl - felt the same urge to destroy things in the path of their shared love, it made her feel less guilty.

"..Ehem. Excuse me! Goodness." She exclaimed, blushing heavily as she hastily sat up tall and budged the table. Spinel jerks up and finds her eyes looking back up to the Pearl in a mix of startlement and confusion. "That.. That drawled on longer then I imagined. I suppose I had some underlying thoughts, and.. I guess you would understand my pain, the most. The others loved her, but.." She trails off, shrugging anxiously. "We all have different situations with her. But we all hurt, in different ways. And I want you to feel that.. Maybe you can talk to me, even if I may not understand. I am open to listen - its honestly what I do best." Pearl smiled once again, but rather then the perfect rimmed and perked lips - it was goofy. Silly. It was strange to see, from such a serious gem as her.

"I didn't mean to distract us! Where were we, Earth, Earth.." She rambled, opening the book up once again in the same hurried and violent manner - causing the table to, again, tremble just slightly. "Not Earth - not physics.. Geology, Astronomy.. " She grumbles incoherent words that didn't seem real the first time round, but once she found the right page it was quite obvious by the big, goofy grin she got.

How could one Diamond - one.. Gem, change someone so low? A Pearl - an obedient servant to the end. Now she was a doofus. A nerd, a laughing and giggly weirdo. Kinda like her.

"Anatomy & Physiology. I think you will find this quite to your liking, Spinel." She scoot the book closer to her, now. The large and ancient thing sitting in-between them both with perfect distance. All the Spinel could offer was a smile, and a furrow of her brows. The words seemed funky, and almost as if Pearl was making them off the tip of her tongue. But it was worth a shot, right? The want for distraction was short ran, as the very being itself was mentioned rather then in her hopes to ignore it. But, she at least got some sympathy. Sympathy and.. Perhaps something more. She couldn't be too sure. But all she knew it was nice getting care from someone who wasn't obliged to give it to every semi-broken gem he came across. 

It was genuine, yes. But this was different. Very different.


	9. Chapter 9

The conversations were nice. They lasted for hours on end, not stopping side' the few questions Spinel had to ask, and the small clarifications she had to give. 

"So.. Humans." Spinel started, moving a hand to her chin as she pondered deeply. "..They. They are not capable of much, are they." She asks softly. Not sour and bitter with enjoyment of the weak race, but realization. "Co - Course' I knew that! My first go round' proved me right, bu - but.. They're super, _super_ delicate. Like some stupid flower. You could pull off their petals, and they could barely fight back. What.. What really is the point of them?"

Pearl snorted, and covered her mouth - her hand hiding her wide grin. 

"..Perhaps that is.. Close. But even if we see no purpose in them, they do have one. Some good, some bad. But really its for them to decide."

The explanation made sense, but.. How come they didn't have a role to fill? Was Earth really that open? Where if a Quartz, large and heavy and strong - wanted to be a delicate dancer, they could? How strange. How very strange.

"That is what we did when we came here. Amethyst wanted to be _Amethyst._ Just hang around and.. Sure, be rather gross and not clean, but she isn't causing too much harm! And Garnet wants to just be happy. And she is. She may not peek a single emotion as a hot-headed Ruby would, or a sly snark that a Sapphire would. But she is having the time of her life, in that head of hers. And me - us! Spinel. Don't you see?" Pearl shoved to scoot closer an grab onto her hands, smiling dearly into her own hot-pink eyes. Pearl's were almost white - a light cyan. So unusual yet entrancing. Spinel couldn't look away. 

"That is the exact same for us. We were made to.. To serve! To entertain, and whilst one of us were better at one thing then the other, it was our roles. But that is the past. That is so many years, and years ago. We are on Earth. We are free to be, and love who we want."

Spinel blushed madly, and pulled away.

"Bu - But! Noh'. I don't like that. Not one bit! I'm.. I'm suppose' tah' be a best-friend. That's all I ever knew." She frowned, her charismatic hair beginning to deflate and fall down the sides of her head like a pair of bunny-ears.

Pearl bitterly smiled, but nodded nonetheless.

"I understand that, and.. You can still be a friend. You can be so many's friend. You just.. Just need to make do." 

Spinel just couldn't catch on. Why couldn't she just be Pink's friend. Steven's friend, his best friend! And his alone. She didn't want to make do, she wanted to be_ wanted. _

_"Spinel._ Trust me. Trust us. It wasn't easy to adapt, but it will be soon. In the mean-time.. Let me show you what is so amazing." She smiled tiredly, and Spinel felt her hair only deflate further. Was she really this draining? When she was so sad, so mad and negative.. Was this how Pink felt? Like she was watching over a child? Something worse then a child.. A weirdo. Some-_freak_.

"I just can't comprehend it. Why were they made? Why do they get - get so many amazing things. What did we do wrong? _Who made them, who -"_

Pearl gently closed the book and pushed it aside, hands delicately crossing with one another and resting on the glass table. "That is something they don't even know. You see, Spinel? That is the amazement to human-kind, and their world. Its so.. Mysterious. And us, with such high-tech; we unaware of them! Isn't that fascinating? Something so low compared to us.. Yet, delved into something more that we didn't have until just recently." 

Spinel groaned and let her face lean forwards and rest on the table, resting her head down as she slowly processed everything she had been told.

Her gem-class was not made to hold information like this.

"But it just doesn't make sense! Find, how boutt'a... Why do they eat -" "They body needs the fuel, it keeps them going. They need so much to keep them up and pumping." "Why do they have stomachs!" "To digest, kinda like us - so it doesn't just.. Sit there. And rot." "What is that throat thing-y!" "Gag ref -" "I thought girls were humans why do they have different parts!" She exclaimed, only to have a flustered Pearl loudly (and forcefully) laugh and look away. "To Pr - Procrea.. Spinel. Listen." She sternly moved a hand to shift her head to somewhat glance at her.

"I can see that this is all.. Confusing to you."

Spinel melted into her touch, her frown only deepening. "Well duh'! I jus' don't get it.. I wanted to learn stuf' to distract my dumb head, not think about why humans have weird noodles and bags inside their bodies to keep em' up and pumpin'.." She grumbles, and the stern expression Pearl held faltered just barely.

"..It is strange. Trust me. I know. We -.. We were.. Working on distraction, yes, but.. I'm aware that Amethyst has shown you the ways of eating - without it getting shoved into your gem, yes?" Pearl questioned, hand pulling away - after pushing a stray strand of her to the side of her pony-tails. "How did it feel?" Spinel thought, and continued to do so. But could only shrug. "Eating made me feel a little sick. But Ame' said I ate too much, but.. Overall it wasn't bad. Just kinda funky for the first few bitz'." The light gem nodded and smiled, looking away. "Yes. I think.. A way of understanding further, is to.. Shape-shift your frame to gain some human contents. As in.. The stomach, for example. Amethyst show you how to do so, digest and all that. But of course experimenting further can show you how needed it is for the humans - how dire it is." It sounded gross, truthfully. Spinel nodded anyways, still interested nonetheless.

"Testing out how - the need for their energy goes about, how it comes in then back out.. Oh! Er.. Excuse me, but.. This is another example. Perhaps not for you, not yet - or.. Ju - Just!" She seemed overly flustered and reached to run a hand through her hair. ".. It is an example regardless. Rose would experiment with the human body, as well. Giving herself some organs one at a time, to feel it. I would never, personally, but she.. Seemed to find it scarily intriguing. One that she wanted to try ever since she met Greg was pregnancy." 

"Wha' the heck is that again? Too many P-Words in these ol' humans, lemme' jus' say.."

Pearl nodded, understandingly? Perhaps, or just to keep things going. But she overall continued on her explanation. 

"It is when a human gives birth to their off-spring - and can be one to multiple children. Steven is the outcome of that for Rose and Greg." Her mouth felt dry, and even though water was useless (and gross, Steven showed her soda was so much better!) to her, she could use some. "It takes time, and it needs all the organs to help the child grow - healthily. And in no way am I recommending it, but.. I thought it would help you know that, its not strange to experiment. If I believe, Ruby and Sapphire did as well. Not to my knowledge, or perhaps I don't.. Remember what it was, but they would play along as well. Its taboo, surely, but helps us get them more."

It made sense, of course it did! But Spinel didn't want a baby, she didn't wanna get with some freak-y human and poof! Be gone, forever! She -

"Oh! Wait." Spinel paused, slamming her hands down and pointed to herself.

Pearl seemed caught off guard, and furrowed her brows. "..Erm.. Yes?"

She tried to ponder up the words, but found it impossible. What was it? What was it called.. What even happened?

"When Steven was sick, he.. Ergh. I don't know what it was, or why it happened - but Amethyst never explained it to me, either!" Pearl, not more confused and not sudden;y stressed out, listened further and scooted close. "What did Steven do, now?" She asked, brow raising in suspicion. "He.. He got all shaky, and super hot and could barely walk without tripping. And then - nrrrk..." She snorts loudly, and found herself grinning. "Mmm!.. I'm sorry, it was just. So weird! Some gross stuff came outta' his mouth! And it looked icky', too. Amethyst also kinda laughed, but said it helped humans feel better."

Pearl was fast to cut her off, waggling a finger while nervously laughing.  
  


"Oh, oh - goodness. You.. Had me afraid there. That was regurgitating. Steven, well.. When humans are sick, sometimes their bodies need to tell them that they have something harmful in their body - and need to get it out, asap. So.. The easiest, and quickest way of doing so is puking. Its rather.. Insanitary, and can make others sick if they were to catch on of it." Spinel nods eagerly, and furrows her brows. "What came out, though? He didn't even eat anything that looked like that!" Tapping her chin, she hummed and looked off. "..Well, that is food. Mostly. Digested food, and stomach acid. Perhaps water, too, if he drank some beforehand. It doesn't matter what it is, your body can so easily get it out. Its quite scary, if I am honest. But I do Suppose I just don't like messes." She grimaces.

"Cool. Cool. So, how do I do it?" Spinel perks up, nearly hopping in her seat. "..I'm sorry, what?" Pearl asked, brows furrowed. "How do I puke? How do I do it? Do I gotta' say a magic word, or finish a puzzle? Is it a secret?" 

"..No, its. It is not exactly an ideal thing to have happen. In fact too much of it can be harmful.. " Shaking her head, she tapped her boot on the see-through floor fast and pouted. "But Amethyst - and you, even, said it makes them feel better. It gets harmful junk outta' ya'. How do I do that? I can only imagine how much bad stuff is inside me! Maybe I can be ha -"

Pearl frowned only further and leaned to grab onto her hand, eyes that were so light and almost transparent darkening. 

"It isn't.. Exactly how it works. It doesn't make you feel better.. Less ill, perhaps. But.. I don't think you have the right idea for this.." Spinel shook her head and felt the desperation take a toll. "Wha-huh? But Steve' looked ten times better after! An - And.. That juice stuff you told me to give em'! What do you mean it doesn't make them feel better? Tis' is kinda gettin' hypocritical now!"

This only made Pearl more stressed, grasp tightening on her hand. "Yes, but you need to listen..Their bodies, it makes them -" Spinel whined and pulled away. Why did she think this would help? It only confused her more. Grossed out more, more disappointing. She wanted to be happy, she wanted to feel better - then why did Pearl say it wouldn't help?

"I'm.. Jus' gonna. Gon' go back." Spinel grumbles, shifting in her spot as she stood up. Pearl seemed to not be happy, and only deflated more. She stared tiredly at her and hummed anxiously. "..Spinel." She offered a way, and crossed her arms about 4 times around herself and looked around to see if she could recognize where the entrance had been. "It was nice talkin', and leanin' stuff. It really does mean a lot, ahm' just.. Tired, " The Pearl would've opened her mouth to say that 'gems couldn't be tired'. But she didn't. She knew what she meant, and kept quiet, and only nodded. "..Please do know I'm here to explain more. I should've been more descriptive, it was my fa.."

Spinel allowed her hand to twirl around and give a thumbs up to Pearl, her tired smile only growing more forced.

"Its noh' worries. I should've taken a better nap, should've been more prepared - humans are_ not_ simple thangs'." Spinel snorted, and at least earned a half-smile from Pearl. "..I suppose. We can meet up again. Maybe next week, or whenever you are free from the palace and such." She didn't move, only letting her gem glow dimly and let the familiar doorway appear with a poof of clouds. "..Yeah. That would be nice." She hummed, hastily making way to the doorway.

She was barely a step in before Pearl yelled again - "Spinel!" she called out, causing her neck to twist and turn to meet her face again. Pearl was hesitant, before smiling sadly. ".. Thank you. For talking with me." 

Not peeping a word, her face heats up hastily and she could only sputter and shift more. "Th - Thank you for _hangin' out wit' me!_ We will do this again." Not got to, but will do. Almost a threat. Pearl found it amusing, and sheepishly waved. "A promise. Have a nice night! Sleep sooner then later."

Nice night? Night, night.. That didn't really make sense, it was only..

She stepped into the pitch-black beach-house, the only light being the dim lamp in the living-space. On the couch was Garnet, and against her was a sleeping Amethyst - with Steven still seemingly out, still.

"..Night?" She murmured, tensing as the doorway to Pearl's room shut behind her.

The stoic fusion only flicked her visors up a little, her plump lips smirking just lightly. "Yup." Was all she muttered. She shifts and mumbles dauntlessly to herself and looked about for anywhere to go, to escape to. "You n' Pearl were talking for hours. How was it?" Garnet hummed, giving a small motion for Spinel to sit with her, in the open spot to her left that wasn't taken over by a sleeping Quartz.

She hesitated, but let her squeaky boots lead her to the spot - plopping down and sighing heavily. She leaned into the warmth of Garnet, and felt instant comfort. "It was.. Interesting. No games, but.. It was still fun." She murmured, getting a small nod from Garnet. She didn't say a word, but the gentle feel of her soft frame against her noodle like one was.. Enough. "I learned a lot. Maybe didn't get the answers I wanted, but I did get to learn a lot bout' humans and how freaky they are." Garnet now managed a small smile, foot gently tapping against the floor. 

"I can only imagine. Amethyst left you some cookies in the kitchen. Said you'd like em'. Steven actually got them, but you were still chattin'." This had Spinel to perk up, eager for a new flavor to have embedded in her forever, but.. Still sick feeling at the idea.

"When she wakes, gotta' thank her! And Steve'. They.." She paused, blushing and hopping back up to trot in the kitchen, in hopes Garnet didn't hear the last part. "They mean a lot to you. Don't worry. I got it. A secret?" She snickered, glancing back to her, before to look straight once more. A small 'yeah' left her, before she snatched the four cookies in her hands and eagerly made way to the screen-door. "..Yeh'. Jus'.. Thanks. Ev - Even you. I know its hard to even talk to someone like me who.." Garnet raised a hand, not looking at her - but enough to tell her to stop. "..We all have our issues. Its okay. Come back sometime again, I haven't seen Pearl invested in this kinda' stuff for awhile now. Seems she has a student to teach again. It makes her feel like she has a purpose, in a way."

Spinel nodded understandingly, and looked at her boots. "Yeah.. I will. A promise."

Garnet hummed happily, and nodded; despite not being seen.

And with it, Spinel left the house. Then realized, the Warp-Pad was in the house and.. She groaned and blushed even more, shoving a cookie in her mouth in a fit of anger before quickly running the closest way to the city, and to Little Home-World. She could use the one there, anyways. No way she'd go back, only to add onto the foolish list of Spinel's dumb actions.

Which was still, sadly, growing strong.


	10. Chapter 10

Despite her promise to return. She didn’t.

She let her drowsy legs drag her to the warp-pad and into the large and nearly eerie palace. Without as so as a greeting from the still busied Diamonds , or the eager to speak Pearls; she was left alone.

And she was fine with it, honestly. She was fine with letting her tired feet drag her into her room, letting the lights dim and flop onto the bed. It was stiff, and hot. Nothing like Steven’s. And if she were closer to him, or close enough to not feel guilt ridden and self-conscious — she would’ve.

With that, it stayed that way. Days becoming weeks and slipping to the same familiar lonesome months she grew used with once Steven had fallen ill.

But no, by any means did he not talk to her.

He would sent messages, in hopes to ease her to visit again. And hang with him and Amethyst, or bring Pink Pearl to help her see what they saw — and even just him. One on one. 

But she’d coolly reply with an excuse, one after another. And she was sure he knew the drift, and began to stop tugging at her as so. Instead, sending over treats he and Pearl has made, or even as so strange and silly colored and flavored donuts that Amethyst asked for him to give to her. He would question it, smiling; knowing they simply had to have some background talk to have such a strange and sudden bond.

But she’d blush, Steven told her — and tell him to shut up. Jokingly, of course.

But she’d still doubt it. She had everything, people who cared for her, a somewhat comfy bed and loving Diamonds and even Quartz and silly rubys. But she felt so, so lonely.

She felt utterly guilt ridden, and disgusting.

Because what was wrong with her? Why couldn’t see fix herself. Mentally, and physically. She tried countless times to bring back the friend form of her pass, but the heart-buns would fall out and get frizzes, and her gem would shift and tremble, falling upside down yet again.

And her face. 

Her tired and redden eyes would last only minutes before she saw herself, and fell into another crying spell. 

The only thing that seemed to fix was her cheeks. The streaks were gone. And she felt.. Wrong. In fact, worse. It wasn’t till the crying, not stopping for a single second or even despite the comfort of Blue Diamond or the Pearls; no. The streaks would drizzle back down as her makeup ruined and got ill, and if she didn’t cry to ruin it, the violent rubs at her eyes would surely.

Spinel felt bad, to say in the least. It seemed every little thing would make her feel bad.

Every little positive aspect, running right down the drain and into a puddle of despair and negativity. Maybe this was why no one wanted to be around her? She was too mad, too sad. Her jokes were dark and only got the Jaspers to snark and laugh, but besides so — she was someone else.

During this time, Blue Diamond would be the only one in the palace. As other gems would visit Earth happily, and go on about their own new and sometimes shared lives.

She would walk down the halls, coming back for only the time to check on things when the three Diamonds were out.

And then, she’d spot Spinel.

Her unfunny, not even close to funny, and pitted Spinel. She’d usually see her in a bout of anger, trying to tie her hair back into the hearts they used to, and fix her makeup but only sobbing further to ruin it.

She wouldn’t peep a word.

Only sitting aside her, as she slid into the large room and gently take her into her hands. She had no words to help, to caring gestures or calm and patient smiles.

She cried with her.

But the large woman’s tears wouldn’t hurt her, no. Not like how they used to. It didn’t change the hues and make everything nearby cold, and forced to sob and feel her pain; not even close. It was all she could do. To show she understood.

Once they both would begin to ease, she’d wipe her tears away with a gentle yet large finger, and sniffle.

”I understand. We are both so, so sad. But.” Her plump lips would smile, and more tears would slide down her cheeks. “Whilst perhaps, I was made to just be — sad. And that only. You were not. And we — I, want to help you.”

And she should’ve taken it to heart, should’ve hugged her hand (because it was the closest thing to her side) and thank her over and over. But she could never manage out a reply. And it carries from that. A frequent reoccurrence, something neither seemed to mind.

She has White to talk about the good memories, and Yellow to wheeze and cackle at her more-so dark jokes. And Blue; she got to let out all the grief out, in the palm of her cold and slender hands. And having words of encouragement were nice, but sometimes having someone who felt the pain, and mourned in silence alongside - was almost better.

So instead of her usual spot, of sitting in front of her mirror in hopes to maybe now fix herself — she stays nestled in the bed of her room.

She has heard the heavy clicks of heels, and the slash of her door opening. Spinel already knew it was Blue, but the Diamond seemed to catch the idea upon seeing her nestled in bed, eyes closed.

She hummed something out, but Spinel couldn’t make it out.. Then, she’d leave and the silence would only carry out.

Leaving bed and actually going out was ideal, but her body felt heavy and worn. And the simplest mistakes she’d made (poking at a sensitive Sapphire, or the fact she ate all 5 cookies herself without sharing) was eating her alive.

The Pearls (moreso Yellow) would visit sometimes, giving a nudge and telling her Steven had messaged her, again. But she asked to give the same excuse; and she knew it couldn’t keep on like this. It was perhaps a few minutes to the time that one of the Pearls would bring up, yet again, a message from him.

And she had expected to hear the delicate pattering of their feet on the floor as they made way to her room.

But instead, she got the opposite.

”Ohhh Starlight~” A voice would call out, and the heaviness of sharp heels would make the floors vibrate. “This is very, very important! I need you to get up, pronto, my dear!” White’s voice sung out heavenly, and she only could groan and dig herself deeper in the mess of fluffy blankets and stuffed animals she had gotten with Garnet and Steven, once upon a time.

When she didn’t move a budge, her door was fast to open and allow the bright light of White’s form make the room lit — more then it was.

”Spinel.” Spinel? “I really need you up. This is important. Steven has requested you to visit Earth, and directly notified me to tell you so. I suppose you haven’t been getting his messages?”

She got them, all right.

Shutting her eyes as tightly as she could was of no help, as the gentle ‘pinch’ of nails pulling at her loose clothing was enough to make her open up and pout.

White continues to hold Spinel before placing her upon her free palm, turning around back to the hallway and towards her quarters of the palace. “No time for resting. We do not need it.” Maybe she did. What then? “And I can assure you, that a request to visit Steven is of importance!” Now that she was close, she could be all up n’ personal.

She saw the flick of her sharp eye-make up and the perk of her black painted lips.

But what was noticeable was the tint of pink on her cheeks. Something so ‘cruel’, so ‘not perfect’.

What was going on?

”He had asked for you to only go along,” she said, somewhat bitter almost. “And while I do understand! It’s just.. We haven’t seen our little Steven in foreverrr!” She drawls out, blush darkening from a pastel pink to now a much more neon magenta. “But it’s fine — I believe it would be swell for you two; ooooh!” She coos, getting only closer and closer to the obvious notifiers in the room. Countless texts from Steven, and missed calls (moreso on his end). 

”A good, amazing chance to get closer! Our little Starlight, and our precious grandson.” She sighs happily, kneeling to set her down.

”Splendid! Oh, for sure. Now, you see — this is what he sent to me.” She pointed to the screen, and Spinel was far too gone to really pay attention.

She heard her voice, but the words just dances around her, before drifting away.   
  


“Is that okay?” White now asked, looking to her with slick brows perked.

Considering she didn’t catch a thing she said, she was stressed. But also, considering she was exhausted — she didn’t care.

”Yeh’.” She hums, nodding as she twiddled with a stray strand of hair. White was happily with her response, and clapped eagerly. “Wonderful! Splendid. Well, I’ll let you head to Earth, and have the Pearls pack some supplies for you.”

Spinel nodded and hopped on the warp-pad, crossing her arms as she pushed the strand back to the pony-tail.

”Yuh-huh.. Wait, what? Hol’ up.” She looked at her fearfully, but only earned another sputtered coo and ‘bye’ before she was sent off her way to Earth.

Pack? Pack SUPPLIES? What in the — what in the stars above did she let herself agree to.


	11. Chapter 11

The chanting and fearful question of _what did I get myself into _was repeating over and over again in her head. Leading her to ramble out loud to herself as the warp-pad did it’s thing, and have shaking hands pull and dug at her hair as she cried exclaimed out loud to no one in particular.

Yes, she should’ve been listening. But honestly? Sleeping would’ve been 10x better then being.. _Here._

She stumbles around on the pad even when she gets to Earth, fully noticing how she wasn’t in Steven’s home this time. And, instead, in the dead middle of Little HomeWorld.

There were some gems she recognized, some she couldn’t even tell what kind they were. Obvious fusions, obvious quartz and obvious Rubys.

But the one thing she couldn’t comprehend was the noise. So loud, so obnoxious and constantly moving. Who could ever like this? Perhaps once upon time she enjoyed fast pacing, but now even the slightest exclamation made her want to cry.

”Hey!” A voice calls out, making her tremble and tense. Was she recognized? Was it that obvious? Was she well-known? Well, who wouldn’t know her. Not just everyday some pink freak shows up to try and kill her.. Her dead best friends(?) son.

The gem was small, and green. She likes green, but not this kind.

The gem’s head whipped to look at her pad in both hands and rapidly typed out countless numbers and words, before returning to look back at Spinel and point wordlessly. “Weren’t you aware? This tela-pad is out of order. We, are fixing it!” She slapped her chest, and waited til a slender Lapis landed aside her. The more she stared, the more she realized the small gem was a Perdiot. A very small one.

”And.. And Bismuth, but she’s AFK — out of order, kind.”

Lapis leans in and squints, humming lowly as she somberly rubbed her chin. “..Don’t I knkw you.” Lapis mumbles, pulling back to soon trail around her slowly — almost not noticeably moving.

Peridot got intense interest at this, and slid the pad under her arm to get a closer look, too.   
  


“..Ewuuuoh I see! I know her!” Peridot practically screamed and hopped up, cackling madly. She points again, with both hands now. “She’s the gem who randomly popped up! And tried to kill us! Oh, man — ahwahaha! You’re gonna need to hand me one of those injectors some time. For science, stuff. Duh.”

Lapis blinks, before nodding.

”Totally her. When did you ever come back?” she hums, raising a brow.

Spinel’s chest was racing, and the sudden eyes of other gems that weren’t the two before her, made it only worse. Her eyes felt warm and stung, and her hands trembled and begged to tug and pull at her hair.

”Fo - For awhile actually!” She blurts, tapping her boot on the floor rapidly. “For Steven. And Amethyst, we - we’re kind friends. Or something.” Best friends. We are best friends. Better friends then you are with them, prove me wrong I swear —

Peridot catches on and nods, brows furrowed. “Oh. Were you the gem he was talking about today?” She hums curiously, and Lapis shrugs — spawning out her wings.

”Has to be. Well. Enjoy your stay. Probably don’t break any more structures while here. Would be cool.” She hums, moving arms to wrap around Peridot as she tugged them both in the air.

”Stay steer of us! Bwahahaha!”

The two flew up, and out of sight. The gems around them treated it as if normal. And by the silly expressions, she knew Peridot was joking, as was Lapis.

But the rapid spillage of tears that blurred her sight let her know it was too late, and then throat was so, so tight and —

She whimpered quietly to herself and darted off the pad, beginning to let her feet drag her in any direction. She ran into a few gems, but didn’t peep a word. Head down, pony-tails low and legs burning from the force she was putting into it.

Stupid, even stupider then before!

Spinel breathes fast and heavy, and wanted to scream.

She didn’t want to be here, the chatter was too loud, the birds were and the ocean was too loud, everything was just —

“Gotcha’.” A voice mumbled, causing Spinel to sputter as she harshly ran into the body of yet another gem. The warmth and soft frame, yet taller gem let her know who it was instantly. “I figured I’d find you here.” She flicked her visor with her free hand, and let a hand trail in her frizzed ponytails.

”Steven is waiting inside. C’mon.”

She stares up at her in awe and wanted to shake her head and scream at her, too. But she kept quiet, childishly teaching to grab her hand near her side. Her other rubbing her eyes.

”Im really glad you came. Steven is gonna be thrilled to see you agreed.”

Spinel hums only and nods, eyes staring at her feet. “Well, uh — yeah. Eheh.. I didn’t -“ don’t say ignore him, don’t make this worse then it is. “.. I didn’t really see the message, s - so White, she.. She decided for me, basically.”

”I had a feeling.” Garnet replies.

They both make wake to the door, which she let Spinel in firstly before coming behind her. “Steven is probably out grabbing food with Amethyst and Pearl. M’ gonna be in my room.” She mumbles, walking past her and to the large warp in the center.

”Don’t hesitate to knock if you need anythin’.”

She left in a matter of second through the mysterious doorway, only to disappear in a matter of seconds. And how was she to knock, on a door that didn’t exist? 

Was she — was she supposed to just, think? Or knock on the wall, or..

She whines and slips onto the couch, legs drifting off as she stares forwards sheepishly. The door was the least of her worries. She just needed to know what truly she got herself into. But would Steven even tell her? She didn’t deserve to know. Didn’t deserve to be there, she ignored him for months! How could he so easily let her into his home, after she ignored him — again!

He was too forgiving, she swore..

Eyes shutting momentarily, she taps her foot fast on the ground . Sudden urges and ghost hands pulled up and caused her to groan and whine. 

She already knew what to do once she forced her body into the kitchen, pulling the fridge open and gazing about the items. She didn’t even look at what she pulled out, only pulling out wrapped meals to unwrap them and shove them down her throat in a matter of minutes.

Spinel barely connected that time was moving, only shoving pointless treats to her mouth for distraction and to maybe, just maybe feel the same enjoyment she felt when Amethyst gave her knew sweet treats.

But nothing worked. It only made her feel guilty, and sick. Her gem felt heavy and disoriented, and she regretted eating the food as soon as she forced it into her mouth.

Knees wobbling, she shoved in a few slices of cheese into her mouth before sitting on the floor, sniffling and finding the familiar hot and thick tears bubbling down her cheeks. This was just gonna be a reoccurring thing, wasn’t it?

Head lolling back to lean on the fridge, she frowns and shuts her eyes tightly.

She just wanted to feel better.


	12. Chapter 12

By the time she came to her senses, and pulled the ruthless demon (that was still herself) from its possession over her, she was face to face with a wall, and that only.

Wrappers were around her, and in her hand was the last remaining bit of quite literally — plain, white bread. Half of the loaf was gone, and she didn’t even register the nausea and guilt beginning to set in.

All she could find was her hands bundling wrappers and foil together before harshly being thrown away.

Then, to finish it off, one last slice was shoved into her mouth before she hastily re-did the knot on the loaf before shoving it into the fridge (she wasn’t even sure, nor remembered, if it came from there in the first place).

She swallowed the bread and tugged and pulled at her hair, breathing rapidly.

This was fine. This was okay. She just needed to ask for Steven to explain it again to her, explain to why she exactly was here — then get an excuse and be on her way!

The way her body felt sluggish and overly hot was new, and the spewing anxieties was in no way helping. “Calm down, you freak. Everything is gonna be fine. “ She chants in a repeating tone in hopes to ease. But how could she calm down? She ate half of their fridge in a bout of stress and tears, how in any way could she explain THAT? Then say she has to leave?

Perhaps when they got back, she could try and keep them entertained. Distraction. Distraction.. Distraction never worked.

Was this how it was? To be her own gem? She’d much rather be pushed around to entertain a spoiled Diamond then this.

And maybe it wasn’t that bad, maybe the simplest way to make things less weird was to apologize and explain her situation. But thinking would take hours, and she only had so little time! And so little time left her to remain against the fridge, knees to her chest as she tried to ignore the sudden selfishness and awareness that she had now that she shoved her face full of food in hope to feel better, to feel happy.

All about her, wasn’t it? Why couldn’t she think of others!

She tugged and pulled and bopped her head with a heavy fist and ignited the fire in herself more, bypassing how her eyes swirled with each punch and how it seemed strands of hair would stay on her gloves hands the more and harsher she pulled.

But she couldn’t ignore the door opening, or hide for that matter.

Pearl walked in; a bag over her shoulder, with Amethyst and Steven in tow. They both were holding bags, as well, but Amethyst was noticeably already eating stuff from her own. To which Pearl would send a disapproving look, earning a cackle in response.

”I can put away the groceries, it would give me a chance to throw out what’s bad and organize, anyways.” Steven nods with a hum, following after.

”Fine by me. Let’s me go check if — oh!” He perked, sharing the same surprised expression Pearl held once seeing the gem. “Speak of the devil, aha! I was gonna go see if Spinel came yet.” He smiles at her, and pushed the bag onto the tabletop aside the others. He walks eagerly to see and offers a hand, his smile only spreading further.

But something was.. Off. He looked tired. She could see it in his eyes.

”How long have you been here? Hope we weren’t too long.” He helps her up once she grabbed onto him, but didn’t let go as she should. His tired expression deepens at this. “Pearl and I figured getting food n’ stuff would be a good way to pass the time while we waited. But it seems you came earlier then expected!”

Only a few hours. Two to be precise, but it was fine; she tried to convince herself, it was awesome.

”..Yeh’. Figured much, since you.. You are, were — Uhm.” She fumbled with her words and blushed, brows furrowed as she looked down.

She wanted nothing more then to lay down, or even simply remain sitting against the fridge. The ill feeling increased, and her gem felt very much so on the verge of poofing right from her body. “Yeah.” Steven nodded, giving her a reassuring squeeze. “Uh. Sorry this was so sudden. I kinda got it — you wanted to, be alone, but I was kinda.. Thinking a bit.”   
  


Wanted to be alone? Of all things, she didn’t want anything close to that! But.. Save for her embarrassment, being around others only made her doubt their true and good intentions.

”Can I talk to you about it, actually? It’s nothing bad, swear!”

Spinel grimaces, but nods anyway.

Would it really be so bad if she stayed?

He drags her alongside him and up the stairs to his room, and things seemed to.. Somewhat, kind — not really, be gradually getting better.

If it weren’t Pearl’s gentle ‘should’ve gotten more food’ comment, maybe she’d feel not as bad.

And even more so, if Amethyst loudly blurred out her lack of involvement in it. Wasn’t it just obvious now? So when would she be kicked out?

”Sit here.” He pat on the bed, hopping on as well aside the spot he motioned her for. She fumbled more then listened, squeaking gentle as she swayed, until finally sitting aside. Hands crossed in her lap, yet tugging with her gloves anxiously.

This was it, she could feel it. He reassured her but nonetheless, she could see his true meaning.   
  


She was going to be sent away. Banished; from Earth.

”I was noticing you were.. Still pretty down about.. Ya’ know.” He motioned to nothing in particular, eyes drifting to look at a nearby window. “Even more when — When Blue Diamond told me you were.. Kinda’ locked away in your room.”

Blue? Just Blue?

She kept her secret? Her promise?

”Yeah. She wanted me to keep it between us, to make it less stressful, n’ all. White can be overbearing.. I’m first hand proof of that.” He chuckles, and looks back to her. She does as well, but less confidently.

”What I’m trying to say is — I want to give you the time of your life. Just a week or two, or more! Steven and Spinel; just pals, ya’ know? And the others, obviously. But I thought it would be nice to have a day out, basically.” He smiles and all she sees is her. She finds her mouth quirking into a smile, nonetheless.

She wanted to never look back. Wanted to be told nothing would ever go wrong.

“..Yeah. I guess that would be nice, huh.” She nods mindlessly and plays with a loose strand on her glove, and eases down once he leans to rest a hand onto her own. “Yup. Super nice, actually. I know how it is to be.. Worked up. Over stuff that you can’t control. And sometimes being alone does work, but I feel — I feel like we are similar, you know?”

Intrigued by this, she looks up and squints. How? They were overall opposites. He was a saint, she was.. What was dragging him down. A demon. Curse bringer, a freak.

“Sometimes all you need is a good time, or not even that — maybe just somewhere to hide away at. A mini va-cay in a way.”

She wasn’t listening but continues to nod. He notices this, and leans more into the softness of his bed, with Spinel following tow. “I’m actually really glad you agreed. It’s been — awhile, since we saw face to face. The calls are great! Don’t get me wrong, but.. I like it better when you’re next to me.”

Her entire body felt warm and shuttered, and her hand tightening around his told him this. But he didn’t point it out, or make fun of her for this matter.

”..You wanted me? Here?” She asks in a small voice, pouting as she shifted to now lay down. “This wasn’t.. Wasn't a deliberate way to basically kick the ole’ bucket with Spinel?” Shaking his head, he moves to lay down with her and hold her closely. He was cold against her warm body, and the dizziness and sickness sided once he embraced her.

”Nah. Believe it or not, I really like when you’re here. You’re just upbeat enough to make me laugh, but a realist — which, in a time like this, is really appreciated.” He breaths out and gives the same tired smile.

”I like you for you. And if others can handle it, then that’s fine. More you for me!”   
  
  


“But.. Definitely don’t take this as me forcing you to stay.” he suddenly adds, turning on his side to meet her eyes. “We all really enjoy you here! Take it from me. But.. I would get it if you’d rather leave. I don’t wanna force you to be obliged, and all. Just.. Putting that out there.”

His small praises had her gem fluttering, and the childish joy she hadn’t felt in ages caused her to giggle and hide her face in his chest. “Mmnf. ‘Mn stayin’.” She mumbles into him, and while it’s almost not intelligible in the slightest; he catches the drift.

”Great. Okay. Cool! That’s good to know.” He chuckles, holding her and hugging her lightly.

  
Perhaps she felt a little obliged to stay — but with his encouragement, she.. Went against her fears. And besides, she grimaced and hid herself against him more. The nausea was beginning to get overwhelming. She wouldn’t want to walk even if she tried.


	13. Chapter 13

The day was filled with distant laughter, and even farther jokes. Spinel, even despite being right there — dead set and middle of the entire situation, still felt as if time was warping at a blast, leaving her confused and sometimes forgetting to reply or even give a reaction.

And when Steven noticed, he would give her a gentle squeeze on her hand, and she’d gently embrace her own gloved hands with his bare ones; he didn’t move.

And it seemed to be perfect, he being the warmth to her cool heart — the filling that made her not feel empty.

It was odd, and had to be her overthinking..  
But made Steven needed her more then he’d say. She wondered briefly how she could make him admit this..

But as the sun had risen, it would go back to settle — the bright and abnormally blue skies Earth had darkened. The clouds, too, seemed right go with the sun. Leaving the once heavenly sky to be barren, stars littering the surface rather then clouds.

Spinel didn’t like stars. Never would see, too.

“Steven, would you help me with dinner — I’m afraid I forgot to retrieve my bass from Greg’s. It’ll only be a moment!” She coos, hastily making way from the kitchen with a smile. “I’m making bread-bowls. All is needed is to stir the soup, and check in the bread ever here and there. Thank you!”

Steven replies with a toothy grin and a loud exclamation, but her eyes were to fixated on the window besides her.

“Here. Gimme’ a sec. you can come help, if you want. But if not it’s cool!” Shifting off the bed, Spinel’s arms still stayed intertwined around his waist, to which he nervously laughed. It was as if his thinking was loud, loud enough for her to hear. Calm down, the hybrid would think; and she would too, but at herself.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Trust me, he would’ve said. And Spinel knew that. “Just making sure the house doesn’t burn down! And — here.” He huffs, narrowing his eyes a little to tug and pull and untie her arms. Once they retreated to her body, Steven shifted her up in his arms and happily made way to the kitchen.  
“You can come with me. You might find it more entertaining then me, anyways.” He snorts.

As he walked to the small spaces kitchen, he hummed gently to her (or maybe himself) and sat her up-top a bare counter.

“How is it so far? I know it’s literally only been a day, but.. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, and all.” He sighs and reaches for the ladle, stirring at an even and clean pace. “And if anyone, including me, does anything to put you off — say so!” He offers his familiar grin and looks back to the drive.

It meant she had to reply, and she didn’t quite want to.

“..It’s okay.” She would’ve rambled nonstop, bless him and thank everyone for even supposedly wanting her there. But she knew she’d annoy him. She could tell when she has. “Yo - You guys ‘been great. Really, thank cha’ so much, Steve’.” She tiredly offers a smile in response, but he doesn’t look back.

Humming a response, he lets the ladle lean against the pot and kneels to open the oven.

Spinel could feel the heat exit it once he peeked in, and her chest throbbed. Not in the weird and sick way, but in a.. Fearful way.

He wasn’t a gem. Not a full one, at least. Or Diamond, for that matter. He could get hurt, easily. Pearl told her so. And at the time, she could see the ease and precision in her words and movements. But her eyes were full of unwanted fear, and dread.

“That’s great, Spinel! Keep it in mind, anyways.” He observing the baking bread and stands up straight again to close the small ‘door’ and go back to stirring. “I really do want you to feel comfortable, and safe.” Safe? Why wouldn’t she feel safe. She must of said it out loud, before he offered her a side glance, before looking back straight and responding. 

“Well.. We all have our own things that kinda — tick us off. Not specifically in a mad way, but things that put us off. Make us think of stuff we’d rather forget.”

Oh.

“.. Y - Ya’ doing fine on that part. I’m not uncomfy’ of anythin’ at all! So — So good job?” She nervously laughs, hands clasping together. Steven’s smile widens, and he quietly chuckles. “For sure. I’m glad!”

The room then, settled into silence. The only noises being the stirring and the soft and barely noticeable cooking noises from the bread. To anyone this would’ve been fine, would’ve been a signal to keep things that way. But Spinel wasn’t most people. Nor was she a, ‘people’. 

“Have you been okay?” With me, around?

Steven was caught off guard, and let the ladle rest again before turning to fully face her. Did she ask the wrong thing? Was this a bad time?

“..Mmm. Well. I guess I’m okay. Not doing too hot, or anything.” He shrugs, taking one glance at the pot before shifting to hop and sit on the counter with her. “Just exhausted. People exhausted. I love helping Little Home World and all, and gems and people — but being everyone’s ‘hero’ is.. Tiring.”

Spinel couldn’t relate by a mile, but nodded anyways. She wasn’t a hero, but could get being tired by company. But, instead of mourning and hiding in bed for literal months like her, he sucked it up. How was he so strong? So stable?

“I guess it’s kinda surprising that happy folk like me get sad for no reason, too — eh?” He nudged her lightly, getting a face flushed off color and embarrassment.

“Uhm — I didn't mean that.” I’m fact, she didn’t mean anything. She didn’t even say anything. “Maybe.. Maybe, erm..” She fumbles, trying to think over any words of encouragement to help. But it was hard, so hard. “Maybe we can.. Do nothing. Tomorrow. Ease down, ch - chill. Ya’ know, the works.. Hide away. Just us, and.. Be alone.” Alone. But with her. Because without him she’d feel less alone some how.

“So, without me is okay too!” She quickly fixes, a heavy and forced laugh leaving her. “It’s moreso a suggestion.” 

Steven nods and finds a grin taking place of his smile, a hand gently patting her thigh. “I caught the drift, no worries, Spinel. Maybe it’s a good idea. We’ll just have too see!”

She feels praise and warmth at his words, and nods happily.

Oh, goodness. She hoped he’d ease with her, tomorrow. And just her.


	14. Chapter 14

As expected, the gems are dinner together eagerly; thanking Pearl and Steven, as he helped - of course. And once everyone finished, they talked. Then has small chats that seemed to be consisting of nonsensical words and things, at first. Then it hit Spinel. The only reason she didn’t understand was to be none of their faults. None but hers.

Having hid away, hoping that the longer she kept herself away from everyone from within and throughout the palace; that maybe her last mistakes would be forgotten.

But they weren’t.   
But it wasn’t brought up, either. Not really. Of course they’d skim over the situation, not grazing it nor leaving it unhandled.

The least they would say, or as to recognize it, was to stay it as ‘Spinel’s last visit, her first visit.

And it should’ve put her off. But by now, merely being seen and given any sort of attention that didn’t have her blabbering over old memories and old friends; she was fine with it. Even if the questioning doings she had committed earned a furrowed brow from Pearl, or a conflicted or embarrassing expression — directed at her.

She couldn’t say she cared. She got attention, any any attention was good attention.

Speaking of good; the food. It seemed no matter what it was, Spinel would enjoy a bite. Amethyst showed her the strangest of combos, and in the end she never truly focused on the flavor.

Sure sweets and sour candies were always appreciated, but it wasn’t the taste anymore. Not for her, at least.  
  


Scrounging for any amount was her goal, and getting an astonishingly amazing flavor was only a plus. What she wanted, and what she got from it — was fulfilling-ness. So once Steven fell asleep on his bed, with her and Amethyst at his sides; the quartz paused the strange yet intriguing horror flick and faces her.

And the request to go out for a night walk, whilst everyone was asleep — and to grab a bite, was easily a yes in her book.

But the food was a distraction, an odd one surely, but by no means did she forget about past ones. About how the stinging of pulling her hair made the anger pause, and how biting and digging into her rubbery body made the nausea and tears halt; she could still never get the human ways of ‘feeling bed’. Maybe like a normal living thing, happiness was the way they went.

But the illness and strange juices (cough medicine, juice — same thing!) that humans consumed only to spew out made no sense. Because in no means did Steven look happy.

He looked pained. Pale, and shaky.

So of course the only gem in sight whom she could as, and even get the courage to ask was Amethyst. She found the question amusing but shrugged at the end of it all.

Something among the lines of ‘humans cope weirdly’ and something along ‘self-harm isn’t something we just have.’

But it didn’t answer her.

Asking further only gained her more confused looks and pity smiles.

What about the medicine? Did it work? Had she tried it? And Amethyst could only smirk and cackle, claiming she tried stuff _stronger._ Stronger? How? Does that mean it truly did work?

Amethyst refused to answer her on that, or give her any ‘juice’.

So she moved on. One question after another, and as the questions moved away from the syrup-juice stuff, she looked more at ease. She wondered what was so bad about it? She was told to give it to Steven, after all. What could be so bad about her needing some?

Hypocrites. Typical.

Moving from the question to the next, she earned a .. More confused one.

”You.. Wanna puke.” Amethyst has murmured, deadpan. Spinel wasn’t sure she exactly wanted to, but explaining her point in feeling better as Steven had, then surely it was worth a shot!

Amethyst went quiet at this, scratching her chin as she shoved in a third donut into her mouth.

Spinel had easily stayed in pace with her, to the quartz eagerness.

Claiming most gems got sick after fourths, but that’s not the point. The point was Amethyst leaned in closely, a hand raised and just barely resting on Spinel’s gloved hand. “..I’m not saying it’s a food idea. But if you wanna experience it and see for yourself. I can.. Maybe help? Jus’ keep it between us, kay’. I’m supposed to be giving you good advice, but I’m destructive as h-e-l-l. So one destructive friend to another, okay?”

She has nodded eagerly, eyes widening and maybe just for once, the tiredness and sadness let her be.

The guilt and hesitation, though, on Amethyst’s face. It was an expression she couldn’t forget.

She didn’t pay time a single glance, for too fixed on listening to her quartz friend.

Amethyst was fast to ramble and grow anxious, explaining that it was ‘sick’ and that ‘sick people’ did it — not healthy people. And while Steven was ill at the time, so was she. Just not physically.

Upon finishing their ‘second dinner’, Amethyst took Spinel by the hand to watch the oceans before going back in. She stood in silence, and shower pure distress, washed away from the pervious glee and snarky attitude she held. “..I’m really serious, Spin’. We’re both not happy, sure. But I care about you. So maybe.. Let’s talk in the morning. Can just be between us. Erase the suggestion, kay’? It was really more a joke then.

Spinel didn’t listen, and only leaned her head on Amethyst’s shoulder. Her grasp on her hand grew tighter, and she returned the heavy expression.

”I’ll be okay. Steven and I are going to hang out all day tomorrow. I’ll forget fast, trust me! ‘Brain broken.”

Amethyst chuckles and nods, eyes half-lidded as she hummed.

”..True dat’. Just come to me, anyways, if you wanna talk. Getting all sick and nauseous is probably your nerves. And over eating.” Spinel pretended to listen and shut her eyes, only paying notice to the waves.

She would feel better after tomorrow. After all, being busy with a buddy would do that! Make her gleeful, sheepish..

It would’ve, should’ve and COULD’VE made her feel that way, if it happened.

The start to the day was almost instant. Waking up in Steven’s bed, nuzzled heavily into the covers and being met face to face with.. No one.

She got worried, and instantly sat up.

In fact, Steven was not only missing; everyone was. Save for a pale note pinned to the fridge. She was fast to her feet as she stumbles over the steps, and snatching the paper.

Something along the lines of Pearl our practicing something that didn’t catch her interest, something with Amethyst sleeping still (and would continue till midnight, so it was pointless to try to wake her) and Garnet out on a date. With herself.

But what really burnt her biscuits? What really made em’ a crisp, and crumbled them to pieces on the floor?

Steven was gone, too. Whilst it said he was waiting for her to wake up, and didn’t want to disturb her rest.. He was at Connie’s, and to give him a call once she woke up. But.. He left? Without her?

She feverishly let the paper drop and frowns, whimpering quietly as her hands tugged lightly at her hair.

Steven had said to call her. That he was waiting for her. So then why did she feel bad? So mad and.. Jealous. Because, to her, it seemed to be always about this — this CONNIE. Except it wasn’t. But to her, it was.

Flopping on the couch with another angered whine, she shut her eyes tightly and tried to ‘breathe’ despite it not doing a DAMNED THING.

And then her head felt hit, and her eyes burned and her scalp STUNG.

Next thing she knew she was shoving random food-ish things into her mouth, tears streamed her cheeks as she shivered and sobbed. Only day 2, and she was a mess.. Again. She finished the last of the bread and stood up, eating some granola bar she found and only groaned.

Why her? Why was she so awful. So disgusting, do destructive..

Pearl’s comment about missing food wasn’t anything to her, not yet at least. In a matter of seconds though, she knew she would be sobbing at her feet and violently apologizing.

I know I’ve only been here two days, but I find that eating my feels help! And sadly, your house is my victim! Because Steven told me breaking into restaurants wasn’t a good idea! So if she regrets it so much? Why do it?

  
All she got from it was a small second of happiness to forget, then the same painful and heavy ache in her gem. And the anger, then sadness then..

The nausea is what made her stop, as she let her heavy feeling body drag her back to the couch and hiccup small sobs and tears.   
  


What would they say. Seeing a slob like her, make a mess of their beloved home, their beloved life. What would Pink say?

And suddenly at the question, her world seemed to stop.

Seemed to freeze and go dead silent.

And suddenly she didn’t want the food in her, not anymore. But how do you get rid of a mess you already started?

You purge it. Pretend it never, ever happened. Hide my away, and let no one know.

So whilst hastily picking up the rappers left in her path, making sure nothing as so a crumb was found, she threw it away and stood coolly in the living room. Then she looked around, listening close for any noise — anything at all. Then a glance out the window, a glance at the house-phone then out the door; she finished.

Once reassured, she let her hesitant feet drag her away and eyes shut tightly.

Hand grabbing at the door-knob, pulling the only room she never went in. Walking in, opening an eye and squinting, before shutting it; locked behind her.

She turned the faucet on for background noise, for distraction for anything — and kneeled down.

A kneel similar to the ones she gave to Pink, the ones where she’d pout and waver when she ‘had to go’ and ‘end playtime’. The ones that left her in tears and begging to keep playing, to not stop.

The ones that got Pink to say yes. To stay.


	15. Chapter 15

Steven came back and everything was happy, and spectacular and unforgettable. Though Connie was in toll, he did show eagerness and happinesses at the sight of Spinel.

She remained sitting on the couch, frizzed and spiked ponytails somewhat more askew then usual.

Gloves, as well, missing.

Though Steven had returned and to the sight of the heart-cut gem putting them back on, he still duly noted the fact they were still off in the first place. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal, and maybe she took them off before sleeping — and perhaps he just never noticed. But he still kept it in mind.

To be quite honest, he didn’t know the things could actually come off.

Under his sleeve was a baggie, to which he handed it over to Spinel and eagerly sat aside her, Connie sitting right aside him.

Her mind was too swirled to care. Too shaky, and too confused. She didn’t know what just happened. Yes, she knew what was happening _now, _but she couldn’t quite pinpoint what happened those few minutes (or hours? time was not her friend) ago. She wanted it. She did it, no one but herself. She wanted to feel happy, to feel better and feel less sick and guilt.

So why did she feel so bad? Like she has to hide it away, and not peep a word.

She barely listened to him, eyes fixated on the bag in her hands. It was semi-transparent. The color a nice sea-green. Inside was varieties of small candies, and she felt the emptiness and trembling in her heart replace with.. Warmth. With want.

And perhaps for just a second it made her forget everything.   
  


“I hope that’s okay.” Was all Spinel got from the hybrids rambling, making her slowly look to him with furrowed brows. “..The candy, that is. I wasn’t too sure what you’d like, but I remembered you liked sweets so.. While we were heading back home, I thought it would be a fun little.. Surprise, I guess.” He chuckles warmly, and earns a slow and unsure smile from Spinel.

“‘S great. Don’t sweat it! I really appreciate.. An - And m’ sorry I was asleep for so long. I guess I don’t have the hang of actually _waking up_after the whole sleepin’ t’ing.” She shrugged, fidgeting with the candies with the intention of eating some.

But her gem felt — no, not heavy, entirely light this time. It felt light, but trembled in her very light-form. And she was afraid if she put more stress on herself like this, she’d poof.

So she continued on with playing with the bag, dazzling at the fun colored and silly shaped candies her best — that Steven got her.

Surely, she would repay him. Mark her word.

“Hey! It’s totally fine. I’ve been sleeping ever since I was born, and I still can’t wake up on time.” His laughter boomed again, and Connie followed in suit. It was harmonious, and made the guilt and self-inducing punishment she pressed on herself mentally somewhat ease.

”What’s da’ time, anyways? I don’t assume I.. Slept all day, Eheh..?” She looked at him with hopeful eyes, to which he returned with a reassuring grin.

He pulled out his strange cellar-device and only waited mere seconds before shaking his head. “It’s only 4 pm. Trust me, we have a lot of time left before Connie has to head back — and when we gotta ready for dinner and all.

Connie was the least of her worries. “4..Pm? Is — is that early? O - Or..” What was she, the human equivalent of a Pearl? She had to be. The way she hung to his very being said enough. It made her want to scream. “And.. Well, where is everyone else, anyways?”

With the pink gem’s heavy glance towards her, it was absolutely simple for Connie to catch on. And grow uncomfortable.

”Uhmm.. Out and about, I guess? Amethyst is still asleep, and I think Pearl and Garnet are at Little HomeWorld. If they finished what they needed to do earlier then expected.” He shrugs once more and leans into the couches cushions. Spinel watched, and followed after; unsure of what it meant or did, but wanted too anyways.

”Hey? Before it gets too late, why not we head down? It’s always nice to check on what’s new, and what’s newly added.”

Connie exclaimed happily and murmured something amongst agreement and more pointless phrases that got Steven to laugh, but Spinel refuses to listen. She just wanted to lay down, perhaps think about what she was doing with herself and what she was doing to herself.

”Well, erm.. I’m not opposed to the idea but.. Are you sure they — that they will, l - like...” She trails off and motions to nothing in particular, brows furrowed and ponytails deflating at her nervousness. “..Won’t they not be thrilled to see me? After what I.. Did. To their home. An - And Planet?”

And for once she really did wish she listened. But she didn't, and only watched the way he shifted and fidgeted as he spoke.

And how Connie watches with adoration for each hellish second.

Watched as he smiles and beamed, and acted so mature. So genuine. She was older then him, times quad-zillions! How did he act so.. Okay. How did he hide his hurt so well.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for more eating-issue stuff - it gets more graphic. and besides that, this is my way to vent because! i am a wreck but no no not the point! the point is should i keep writing this? I felt super pumped but now i feel embarrassed for pushing my own issues onto spinel so randomly.. and it - isnt written too hot since i use my phone so , errors galore! but regardless.. opinions?

If it was not for Pearl's odd and frequent habit to let the entire beach-house of the time, date and so on - Spinel would of truly thought this was all a dream. A strange one, one that repeated non-stop and felt just.. Empty. Felt meaningless, but less-frightening that her past ones. And surely that was good, right? To not fear every constant second of her life? But truly, she would rather that then.. Whatever this was. When she was called for, she would come. Obey sweetly, and try her best to control her outburst. And when her Diamond's called, she would answer; giving them the run down, with Steven at her side. He seemed proud of her. For once, it felt genuine and not in some strange elaborate way to just get her back on her feet.

But it still all felt off. It felt weird, fast and utterly freezing despite the hot weather.

And no one seemed to pick up at it. In fact, they were all eager to think and praise her 'recovery', as she heard Garnet call it once. Recover from what? She was fine. Just confused, a little dented and maybe over-cooked; besides that, what was different?

Well, sure. Maybe somethings had changed. And maybe by some, it meant a lot. 

But what was the problem? She was solving her issues, one step atta' time! She found the source of the fear around Steven, but found it pretty self-explanatory from the very start. Pink. But what was the point on wasting tears on her? She was dead. Right? They wouldn't just, lie to her? They all seemed awfully serious when they explained the whole.. Rose and Pink Diamond jig. But it wasn't just more nonsense and lies to keep her hidden, hidden from _her_. Right?

Another source of help was to find food. Didn't even matter what, but she did have a hunch for sweet stuff. Sugary candies, and sometimes pies or whatever Amethyst smashed together. She was completely fine with it. But she did feel the guilt of.. What was it even called? It didn't matter. All she knew, it was helping. And even if Pearl directly explained to her it wasn't exactly _taboo_ for humans to do, and in fact it rid of their toxic-stuff-or-something like that! So that was basically all she was doing. No biggie, and it did seem to help. Surely she noted it was.. Weird to do it. Shoving glove-less fingers (oohhh cold!) down her throat to sputter barely minutes-digested-food? It was disgusting. She felt disgusting. But what saved her from the empty pity she was soon to create inside herself, was the smallest and barely noted hint of euphoria she got from it. It let her think that perhaps, she was getting the gist of things. That maybe she found something that would help her, something she could keep hidden to herself and keep it that way - forever. 

And while Pearl gave her confused looks after she ate, noting dully of her sudden abundance to leave the room to the restroom, she doubted the old Pearl really got it. And if she were to find out, she would laugh but grimace because _everyone knew she hated messes. Of course, everyone knew! It just,_ took Spinel awhile to really get to know her. But now it was 2 weeks in! And she felt closer then ever. Pearl still adored giving her tips and small informational lessons about Earth and most things she missed out on, really. And Amethyst had gotten more comfortable with Spinel, at-least she thought so. And Garnet was still the same mysterious fusion as ever. She seemed to be watching her more now. It was not.. Preferred. But maybe she actually wasn't. Maybe one eye to the left, to the right and the third all-over the place!

Lapis and Peridot still did tug and pull on sensitive cords, but Bismuth (wowie, even after she destroyed so much of her work!) told her it was their way of talking. Something they both were fond of, even if it hurt a little - and to not take it seriously. Inside (her words!) they were just as delicate and soft as she, and most gems were. Just the toughness talking! Mostly for Peridot, at least.

Even with the amount of gems and even saved-corrupted gems (they scared her at first, but she also scared them, too) she had met and taken into her life - the amount of humans that really liked her, and really wanted to just.. Get to know her. It was crazy.

So why did she still feel so empty? Like nothing was working. As if she had a hole within her very gem, and no matter the amount of relationships and food and cough-syrup, she would still feel so empty. Was this normal? Her body itched to drag herself to ask Pearl, or Steven or hell even just vent to Amethyst; but that proved she was weak. And proved her coping skills were not top-notch! Because they were. And totally not affecting everyone else. And Pearl was _surely not_ beginning to question where all the food was going, or why whomever it was couldn't ask first and oh - oh stars.

She hated her, didn't see?

The fear was overwhelming. So, she did what any other totally-normal-human(?) would do. Get more food even after being semi-caught, and hacking it back up into the toilet. It felt nice to feel so heavy then light, almost in a matter of seconds. How could humans, or gems even, find it gross? It helped. Even if it was for a few seconds and a day in the longest, didn't they want to be better? Feel better? 

Apparently not. She'd scoff, but that would interrupt the Pearls. Multiple.

She had left the house to not seem to overbearing, as she was eagerly cuddled into the depths of Steven's bed when - guess what. Steven showed up! And Connie. What was that all about? Steven was surprised but eager (stars she hoped he was) to see her, and explained the situation but she was just not listening! Something about a movie, a date.. In the house. In his room. On _his _bed. He offered her to stay and watch with them, but she managed out a long babble of incoherent words as she darted out. It was to the point, she noticed, it was dark. Like, really dark.

The sky was finishing its stunning blue and formed to a deep red, tinted with purple as the sky went further down. The sun was following suite.

It was when she noted the Pearls at the Ocean's arc, with Pink Pearl gently resting on the sand as she let the cool water brush against her feet and legs. Yellow was doing some sorta.. Pose. Keeping as still as a rock, even despite the harsh breezes against her. Blue was sat along Pink, but rather then allowing herself to get wet and to gaze into the water, she was faced back to back with her fellow Pearl; eyes (or, bangs?) studying Yellows form as she stoically drew onto a large paper.

Spinel usually wouldn't question it, and would check into town for anything to do or snack on. But it did seem odd how they were on Earth, without as much as a hello!

Maybe they didn't miss her. Perhaps the Diamond's were throwing a huge 'Spinel is gone once and for all' party at the Palace, and it finally just hit the ending.

"Nd' that is when I found that artwork is so, so much preferred then jotting down notes all day. And Yellow happily gives help, too." Blue gently murmured, flipping her pencil delicately to erase any mistake she had made whilst doodling. "..Why did you come to Earth, Spinel?" Jumping at the question, she laughed anxiously and shifted in her spot and felt a warm hand land on her cold ones. Pink Pearl, not even listening or noting the conversation, still regardless let her hand intertwine with Spinel's. As if.. She was reassuring her. Psh..

"..Well! White Diamond said I needed a break," Steven said that, she just complied to his 'order'. "So I listened! Couldn't be bettah'. Earth is great, totally cool!" Blue nodded gently, and continued to observe Yellow. It was safe to assume she wasn't listening.

She hummed lowly, tapping her boot on the sand-y ground fast before pulling away and hopping up.

  
It startled all of them. All eyes turned to her, awaiting another nonsense-filled and obscure conversation to be brought on by her. "..Imma' hit da' hay! M' beat. It was lovely seeing your faces again, girls. Next time tell me when you stop by! 'Love to hang again." Spinel smiled tiredly and offered a way, but only got a frown from Pink. She didn't like seeing it. It was wrong. 

"..Ehe. But Steven told you we were here. We typically visit every Earth Sunday. It is a nice break from Homeworld. Did you know?" Did she know, or did she not - the point was she needed to leave. "Oh! Oh. Steven. Good ol' Steve. Steve-o, he.." She trailed, pondering as he foot tapped faster. She was freezing, and sick feeling. Was she hungry? No, gems didn't..

"Perhaps he forgot to bring it up. Ya' know how humans are!" Truth was she probably just wasn't listening. 

The Pearls exchanged equally confused looks, but nodded. Spinel took this as her leave, and hastily turned away before the same warm hands grabbed onto her. As they rested on her shoulders, the slender fingers slid down to rest on her hips. And tugged her in. Pink Pearl looked down at her with a smile, brows furrowed. A pastel pink colored made her face more expressed, the same pale expression now more.. Meaningful. She didn't pull away, and instead leaned in. She rested her forehead against Spinel's, and only whispered. 

To whom would listen? Blue and Yellow were sucked right back into their.. Artsy stuff.

"I want you to know, I am here for you." She said softly, earning a snort. "Well duh! Yer' my friend." The comment made the Pearl somewhat deflate, but she held on. "..Yes. But you know what I am talking about." Going quiet, Spinel's smile went down. What did she know?

"I know more then you think. Perhaps it is.. Just a feeling. But I want you to know, if you'd prefer a day of silence or even just gardening alongside I and a few of the Jaspers here," stars no. "Then we would adore it. We adore you." It seemed everyone was saying that, but did they mean it? Like, for real? "And I don't wish for you to feel lost, or alone, or confused or whatever you may feel. Okay?" She gave a light squeeze, to which Spinel tiredly grinned. "Totally. Its a date. Whenever you find yourself in want for friend Spin', come get me!" Pink's blush grew, and she giggled. A giggled that would give her warmth and made her coiled arms tie around herself in hopes that this _wasn't a dream, this was too good to be one!_ But it didn't.

"..Yes. Splendid. Go sleep, hm?" Pink leaned into peck her cheek, and Spinel rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"No promises, Pink!" She needed a better nickname.

* * *

Beach-City was (thankfully) hot. The cold was not Spinel's favorite, homeworld was always freezing! And space.. Hoo-wee. 

But regardless of the heat, and the sight of humans typically in cut and short clothing; why was she freezing? Her hands clasped together as she tried to create some sort of heat, but found it pointless. Her eyes drifted to the usual lit-up shops, and noted in annoyance that most were closing down for the night. It wasn't that late, was it? 

She hummed and found herself walking in the direction of the same play-place (it had a name, but she refused; because play-place was quite literally what it was) she and Steven _and Amethyst she was there, its not always about your Diamo- _had gone quite a few times! It was fun, even if the roles were strange. But she was good with roles, perhaps not as good as she used to be, but better then ever!

So when the sign read 'Closed', she could only stare before she let her nood-ly body shift and slide under the bars that kept it safe. She looked around at the dark play-place and smiled bitterly at the darkness of it all. The fun colored bulbs were out, and left the neon-painted area.. Eerie. It looked familiar, and felt like home; but still so sinister. Was this how everyone saw her as? Something that should be friendly, something that was a friend. But now.. Uncanny? Lost? Forever longing to fill the emptiness in her very light form, someone and something who -

"Hey."

A deep voice muttered, and caused her to jump and allow her fists to grow large in order to protect herself. The voice instantly sputtered out a mixture of fear and confusion, following after steps moving away from her stance.

"Yo, hey. Chill, 'kay?" He mutters, walking into spotlight. The human wore an arrange of red clothing, with perfect hair and tanned skin. He was.. Cool, to say in the least. He tapped a boot on the floor in somewhat annoyance, before it slid to eagerness. "Oh.. You're one of those.. Gems. Or whatever." The mystery boy spoke lowly, as if he was hiding. But truly, they were in plain sight. And any human and gem that walked by, didn't care in the least for their presence. 

"And yer' wunna' those humans, eh?" She grumbles, hands returning to their sizes so she could cross her arms snugly against her chest.

The human smirked and leaned against a lone wall, eyebrow raising. He seemed amused, but how? She could of destroyed him, but here he was - all laughs and giggles. "One tough girl, aren't you? Kevin." He nodded at her, and slipped back the very hallway(?) he was within and didn't wait whatsoever for her to follow. But Spinel wasn't top keen with being left behind, as she easily made up with a growl. She couldn't say she ever met a human so.. Mysterious. And weird. 

"Kevin. Nice to meet cha', Spinel. Where are you taking me, exactly?"

The two were closing to the back entrance, which showed obviousness of being opened by force. 

"Spinel. Cool." No, not cool. "And.. I'm not taking you anywhere, you're the one following me. Remember?" He smirked down at her, and she could only blush with embarrassment and uncross her arms harshly. "Okay, okay. Fine. What were you doin' here? Its like.." How did time work even, on Earth? "I could ask the same for you. But I guess I can let it slide. Seems Pretty Girl Spinel has herself fine alone, huh? Not like I'm.. Deliberately offering you a ride, or something dumb." He snorts, and stops once they exit the play-place, hand motioning to the bright honey car.

She stared forwards in confusion, before pouting; looking up at him in confusion.

"Some friends and I were partying. And we know Mr. Smiley has the good stuff locked up for him and his _adult friends._" Kevin laughed, and even if Spinel didn't get a single thing he meant, she laughed along; because that was what Pink did.

He stopped, and ran a hand through his hair, smiling down to her. "Hey, baby. You're pretty cool." Spinel rolled her eyes and gently nudged him, to which he chuckled again. "I thought I told you, my name is Spinel. Already forgot, eh?" Kevin smirked and grabbed onto her hand, leading her to his car. "Sassy too, huh. Must be my lucky night. So, what do you say? Take you back to the party, we go out for a night-ride. Just us, _chill._" With the direction further on each word, she felt even more eager. But then, the thoughts of Steven.. Would he notice?

"You'll be back before sun rises, if that is why you're freaked." He hums, swinging his keys around on his free finger.

Spinel watched, before looking to the sky. Her body felt cold, and she felt empty. Maybe this would be something new, something for the better. Partys were fun, after all. They had games, and silly people and food!

"Les' go. I wanna forget the world, lets party!" Kevin grinned and unlocked the snazzy car, opening the door for her in, before moving to his side of the car.

"Right answer."


End file.
